Blog: Raja Petra Kamarudin

To those who missed it, this was aired on RTM on 27th of April 2008

Raja Petra Kamarudin - RTM Interview 27 April 08 Part 1/3

Raja Petra Kamarudin - RTM Interview 27 April 08 Part 2/3

Raja Petra Kamarudin - RTM Interview 27 April 08 Part 3/3

Yes, you didn't read me wrong. It was aired on RTM. Very unlikely you say? Apparently it was part of the new Minister of Information's plan to recognise bloggers as an important force in the community. Now, every Sunday there will be a 20 min programme featuring a blogger who will then shed some light to some issues asked by the host. Guess the name of the show, it's Blog. Simple as that.

It seems that this programme has aired it's first episode a week ago featuring A Kadir Jasin. And for its second episode it decided, what the heck, lets invite Raja Petra and grill him on air. This will teach him a thing or two about messing with the government, so they thought. It turns out that Raja Petra was the one grilling the host, asking questions in response to the accusations and silly questions that the host has asked.

You can see somehow that he got caught in his own trap that was specifically designed and set up for Raja Petra. I bet that more than his pride was lost that night, his manhood too was stripped off him after the interview ended. He can be described as a rookie ringmaster taming the brave lion.

Enough about the host, lets focus on the show itself. I look at this programme from various different perspective. First, it's a move from the government to make peace with bloggers. Second, they want to put words in bloggers mouth, e.g. admiting that the government is now open and fair, like what they disastrously did to Raja Petra. Or finally, they just want to give us quality entertainment (Grill the Host) and increase the ratings of RTM.

Here is the link to the debut of this show:

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 1 of 4

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 2 of 4

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 3 of 4

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 4 of 4

A point to ponder

Last Wednesday, I got the chance to attend a political talk with my friend Rozairee. The topic of the talk was 'New Political Landscape: Challenges of the future'. The speakers were from PKR, Pas, and UMNO (Their names would not be shown due to certain purposes) . The talk or should I say forum was conducted in such a manner that the organisers has arranged the speakers to talk in order of PKR and Pas taking the offensive stance and the poor guy UMNO would go last taking the defensive stance. Inadvertently, this arrangement showed how far sighted the organisers were in ensuring that the audience would get a pretty much heated debate. Kudos to the organisers in respect to that.

However, even their far sighted arrangements couldn't provoke the speakers to wage an all out war and throw chairs at one another as they discussed each issue maturely and the tension in the room is almost nil. All that could be felt is the excitement as each and every one of them humorously ridiculed one another and surprisingly themselves. They were given 20-30 mins each and were followed by Q&A. Unfortunately, I had to leave early(11.20) as I had class the next morning. With this, I bring to you the summary of the talk and my own take of it.


PKR:

Introduced the concept of Old Politics vs New Media. Old Politics is when the government uses any means at its disposal to achieve its goals i.e. control on media, regulations and etc. New Media however is the emergence of alternative medias due to the partial stance taken by the so-called Mainstream Media i.e. blogs. He stressed, although old politics may be effective previously, with the presence of new media, it will become irrelevant. If a certain group is reluctant to change its ways, in other words stick to the method of old politics, it will definitely ends up like the Barisan Nasional in the recent general election. Malaysia is heading towards a dual party system.

Pas:

Described himself as party member who prefers working in the background rather than in the limelight, he showed to us what Pas is really all about. If you think that they are Islamist radicals who wear rolls of cloths as turbans and would do anything to form an Islamic Government while in the process alienate non-Muslims, then, sorry to say that you are absolutely wrong. He enlightened us that the Islamic State concept upholds freedom of speech, right of every human being and would be non discriminatory. Most of us fear this concept because we take the form(Islam State) over substance(good governance). Whereas the substance is the most important thing.

UMNO:

He admits that there are wrongdoings in UMNO in fact in his own division. Regarding the result of the general election, he stood by the notion like others in his league that the voters voted against Barisan Nasional(BN) and not for Pakatan Rakyat(PR). Although UMNO may be corrupted and perceived as irrelevant, he emphasised that UMNO is still relevant and crucial if there is to be a two party system. He will try with others that share his view to reform UMNO from the inside and assured all that UMNO will be here for the 50 years to come.


R.Iskandar:

This forum shows that individuals from different parties could sit down together and find a common ground for the benefit of the people. I call on those politicians in power out there to heed their colleagues here. The time for campaigning is over. It is now time to work together, not the time to sabotage one another. The federal government should give the 5 PR-led states the same treatment as the other states. Don't punish them because they deem you unfit of managing their states.

Top Ten: Languages Spoken In the World

10. French, Number of speakers: 129 million.Often called the most romantic language in the world, French is spoken in tons of countries, including Belgium, Canada, Rwanda, Cameroon, and Haiti. Oh, and France too. We're actually very lucky that French is so popular, because without it, we might have been stuck with Dutch Toast, Dutch Fries, and Dutch kissing (ew!).To say "hello" in French, say "Bonjour" (bone-JOOR).

9. Malay (Indonesian), Number of speakers: 159 million Malay-Indonesian is spoken - surprise - in Malaysia and Indonesia. Actually, we kinda fudged the numbers on this one because there are many dialects of Malay, the most popular of which is Indonesian. But they're all pretty much based on the same root language, which makes it the ninth most-spoken in the world.Indonesia is a fascinating place; a nation made up of over 13,000 islands it is the sixth most populated country in the world. Malaysia borders on two of the larger parts of Indonesia (including the island of Borneo), and is mostly known for its capital city of Kuala Lumpur.To say "hello" in Indonesian, say "Selamat pagi" (se-LA-maht PA-gee).

8. Portuguese, Number of speakers: 191 million. Think of Portuguese as the little language that could. In the 12th Century, Portugal won its independence from Spain and expanded all over the world with the help of its famous explorers like Vasco da Gama and Prince Henry the Navigator. (Good thing Henry became a navigator . . . could you imagine if a guy named "Prince Henry the Navigator" became a florist?) Because Portugal got in so early on the exploring game, the language established itself all over the world, especially in Brazil (where it's the national language), Macao, Angola, Venezuela, and Mozambique.To say "hello" in Portuguese, say "Bom dia" (bohn DEE-ah).

7. Bengali, Number of speakers: 211 million. In Bangladesh, a country of 120+ million people, just about everybody speaks Bengali. And because Bangladesh is virtually surrounded by India (where the population is growing so fast, just breathing the air can get you pregnant), the number of Bengali speakers in the world is much higher than most people would expect.To say "hello" in Bengali, say "Ei Je" (EYE-jay).

6. Arabic, Number of speakers: 246 million. Arabic, one of the world's oldest languages, is spoken in the Middle East, with speakers found in countries such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. Furthermore, because Arabic is the language of the Koran, millions of Muslims in other countries speak Arabic as well. So many people have a working knowledge of Arabic, in fact, that in 1974 it was made the sixth official language of the United Nations.To say "hello" in Arabic, say "Al salaam a'alaykum" (Ahl sah-LAHM ah ah-LAY-koom) .

5. Russian, Number of speakers: 277 million. Mikhail Gorbachev, Boris Yeltsin, and Yakov Smirnoff are among the millions of Russian speakers out there. Sure, we used to think of them as our Commie enemies. Now we think of them as our Commie friends. One of the six languages in the UN, Russian is spoken not only in the Mother Country, but also in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and the U.S. (to name just a few places).To say "hello" in Russian, say "Zdravstvuite" (ZDRAST-vet- yah).

4. Spanish, Number of speakers: 392 million. Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and Central American country, not to mention Spain, Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, including: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla, enchilada, and taco grande supreme.To say "hello" in Spanish, say "Hola" (OH-la).

3. Hindustani, Number of speakers: 497 million. Hindustani is the primary language of India's crowded population, and it encompasses a huge number of dialects (of which the most commonly spoken is Hindi). While many predict that the population of India will soon surpass that of China, the prominence of English in India prevents Hindustani from surpassing the most popular language in the world. If you're interested in learning a little Hindi, there's a very easy way: rent an Indian movie. The film industry in India is the most prolific in the world, making thousands of action/romance/ musicals every year.To say "hello" in Hindustani, say "Namaste" (Nah-MAH-stay) .

2. English, Number of speakers: 508 million. While English doesn't have the most speakers, it is the official language of more countries than any other language. Its speakers hail from all around the world, including the U.S., Australia, England, Zimbabwe, the Caribbean, Hong Kong, South Africa, and Canada. We'd tell you more about English, but you probably feel pretty comfortable with the language already. Let's just move on to the most popular language in the world.To say "hello" in English, say "What's up, freak?" (watz-UP-freek) .

1. Mandarin, Number of speakers: 1 billion+Surprise, surprise, the most widely spoken language on the planet is based in the most populated country on the planet, China. Beating second-place English by a 2 to 1 ratio, but don't let that lull you into thinking that Mandarin is easy to learn. Speaking Mandarin can be really tough, because each word can be pronounced in four ways (or "tones"), and a beginner will invariably have trouble distinguishing one tone from another. But if over a billion people could do it, so could you. Try saying hello!To say "hello" in Mandarin, say "Ni hao" (Nee HaOW). ("Hao" is pronounced as one syllable, but the tone requires that you let your voice drop midway, and then raise it again at the end.)

Check out my previous Top Ten posts here.

The One After OBW

As promised, I will bring to you guys an entire post regarding Old Boys Weekend 2008. If you are familiar with the adage a picture worth more than a thousand words, then you would understand why there's more photos in this post relative to the others. It's hard for me to describe the atmosphere, ambiance, camaraderie, and the reasons behind it but I hope the photos will give the right impression of the 3 day event. Before I forget, credits should be given to abdullah munzir mohd fauzi, from class of 98 for some of the wonderful photos.

A sight missed most by Old Boys.

The first banner that you would bump into if you walk to the school. Hmm...the design looks familiar.

Here's another banner. It's 2008 and it's the anniversary for class of 98,88,78,68,58.........

The librarians at the Library booth. Asking for contributions in the form of donations and books.Pak Cik Kamar is here as well. Sure adds a beautiful scent to the booth.

Pak Brahim(pronounce carefully) and the broadcasting guys, who supposedly keep the air lively with songs from the 90's,80's, 70's and 60's?

View of the stalls from Pavilion. Not as many as previous years.

Maybe the logic is, the lesser the competitions, the more profits that you will make.

Although it is 'Old Boys' weekend, I always see the present boys as the regular customers. What a way to make money from your friends.

This is also the time to brag about your new 'baby' to your friends. Just make sure it is not rented or borrowed

It looks like a showroom here. But something is missing.

Where are the models?

A broken/swollen nose doesn't seems to deter him from joining in the fun.

No one is too busy to come. Unless you are running the country or you have just been elected lah

If you can't see his shirt, let's take a closer look. Heard this before? From a lawyer maybe?

The Wind Orchestra's performance was spectacular. Received a standing ovation and truly deserved it. They will be competing in the finals of Wind Orchestra Competition (WOC) on the 21st of June.

Like always, the performance that follows was from the bands of present boys and old boys from different batches. Compared to previous present boys' performance, I could say that this year is the best. They even came out with their own original song. A feat that I have to complement.

Questions such as why do we bother to undergo this exodus to Kuala Kangsar every year or every other year might linger in the minds of some or even asked by some. The faces that we see at this gathering, if you observe like I do, are quite the same every year. These same people will come and reminisce the same thing, laughing at the same jokes year after year. As I am now in their shoes, I too feel the same attraction towards this institution and could finally arrive to a conclusion on why droves of ex-students wouldn't want to miss the chance to 'balik kuale' very year, the nearest examples, my father and I.

From my point of view, this event is a form of escapism of old boys alike. Away from the problems at work, deadlines to fulfil and bosses to please. Most importantly, away from the hustle and bustle of city life. The tranquility of KK itself is enough for someone to come back for more. These weekends, somehow, made the age factor not that distinguishable. To quote another old boy " Old Boys do not get old, only our bodies wear out". It's safe to say that we behaved how boys should behave. Apart from that, one might say that it is a weekend with endless possibilities, you could meet a a political figure, a celebrity, make new friends, build connections, rekindle old flames (ehem..ehem) or creating new ones. In short, whatever happens in kuale, stays in kuale .

The One Before OBW

This weekend, I'll be going to Kuala Kangsar for MCKK's Old Boys Weekend (OBW). To those who can't make it, fret not, there will be a post about it when I return. It won't be a full report though because I will only be there for Saturday and Sunday, missed Friday. Expect a few pictures and my comments, as usual. Those who dont have a clue on what OBW is, here is an excerpt from Malay College Old Boys Association (MCOBA) website :

The Old Boys’ Weekend, or OBW® for short, is an annual homecoming event for
the old boys of the Malay College Kuala Kangsar (MCKK). The weekend is
usually filled with games between the old boys and the students as well as
teachers of the College. There are also other activities such as a forum;
career talks; a dinner and musical show; and other fares. The old boys
enjoyed the weekend (without their families) and re-lived their experiences
during the school days years ago. They played their favourite games, eat
at their favourite joints, stayed at the old dormitories, and passed their times
by telling old stories of their escapades during their times in College.
Those who have been to the OBW® will usually look forward to go to the next
one!

27 Dresses of Horror

I sure do have a lot of free time on my hands when my Astro is out of order. Now, there is time to revise the lectures that I missed, do the homework that I haven't done and most importantly study for the upcoming exam. Unfortunately, I opt to do none of that. Instead I spent my newly acquired free time watching '27 Dresses'. No, not at the cinema but at the comfort of my own home.

Judge me all you want, I admit I was wrong. Buying pirated DVDs are bad for the film industry but I guess we could make an exception for foreign movies, right? OK, enough about me, lets talk about the movie now.

A story of a woman who enjoys being a bridesmaid and yet to be a bride. Has a crush on her boss and had been working very hard to get his attention. The situation becomes worse when her boss falls for her sister instead.

Despite the horrible subtitle, the colour that keeps changing from black and white to coloured (you should know why) , the horrendous dresses and predictable main storyline, 27 Dresses is not all that bad. I read the reviews before watching it and most of them criticise it as another cliche rom-com (read: romantic comedy, not a bad word). Sure it would not stand out if compared to other romcoms such as 'My Best Friends Wedding', or 'There's Something About Mary' but it's a decent one nonetheless.

The director's effort to add a little sugar and spice here and there should be recognised as an added humour and entertainment for viewers. It's no fun when you know the whole script of the movie before you actually watch it. So the remedy is to put a few twist and turns in the plot (although some doesn't make sense, then again it's a movie) to get the viewers interested until the predictable ending. I'll stop here before I ruin the movie for you.

All in all, watch it if you have the free time. Don't go to the cinema, it's a movie best watched at home with family and friends.

Top Ten: Courtroom's Most Hilarious Moments

Believe it or not, as smart as we think the lawyers are, there are times when they fumble and stumble with their question. Perhaps in their 'noble' effort to make the suspects or witnesses confused, they confused themselves instead.This week, as you can see, I've been focusing entirely towards the judiciary system, be it the judges or lawyers. Therefore, in the fourth edition of the weekly Top Ten, I present to you the courtroom's most hilarious moments.

10.Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

9. Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

8. Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases
he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

7. Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. OK? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."

6. Lawyer: "Are you married?"
Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

5. Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

4. Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

3. Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

2. Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard." Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

1. Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer:"So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Court of a different kind

If we are talking about courts, the first thing that would cross our minds could be the judiciary system, the rot in the judiciary, or even the now-famous V.K. Lingam. Usually, courts would be associated with either seriousness, guilt or sadness. Though sometimes funny things do happen to lighten things up, there only a handful of them and purely accidental. Along came Comedy Court to change the stigma. No, its not the court for comedians to face trial. The 'Court' is short for courtiers, hence the full name would be Comedy Courtiers. Consists of two very intelligent entertainers,Allan Perera and Indi Nadarajah, they embark on a journey to charm and woo the hearts of their audiences with their wit. Thanks to their creative efforts , courts could now be an epitome of satire, joy and laughter. Here is one for you.





Transcript (for those who can't quite understand):

Court : Court Banguunnn!!!

Judge : Anda boleh mula Encik Loganathan..

Loganathan : Yang Bertinggi (Your Highness).. Saya mahu buat ini permohonan untuk cakap dalam bahasa English.. yang ariff..

Judge : Cuba jalankan kes kamu dalam Bahasa Malaysia dulu!

Loganathan : Err..baik yang arif.. Saya si Loganathan bagi pihak pemohon dan ini teman pundeyman saya..

Duraisingham : Saya..saya..Saya punya tuhan (My Lord) Apa macam dia kata sama saya pundaman..??

Loganathan : Mana saya ada cakap!!

Duraisingham : Dia cakap saya pundaman.. Ini si Loganathan, dia dia punya mulut manyak busuk.. Dia tadak kasi sama saya, apa mahu kata saya perkatakan.. Hah! dia tarak kasi sama saya.. 'Firstly nasi dan courtesy kanasi'..

Loganathan : Yang arif, mana saya tidak memprofessionalkan mencourtesy-kanasikan..sikim..
Saya cakap teman Budiman.. Kerana Encik Duraisingham tak tahu apakah dia meaning-kemeaningan.. Tolong cakap ini Duraisingham untuk memdictionarykan apakah dia meaning-meaning ayat.. Jangan menshoutkan sebiji seorang Idiot dinasikan.. Walaubagaimanapun yang arif, saya akan carry-on tuan.. Yang ariff, ini.. Yang arif adalah satu.. 'How the hell do you say..?' Ini adalah satu Jamban..yang ..err.. Ini Jamban ..'Bring a motion' tuan..

Duraisingham : Saya punya Tuhan (My Lord)
Dia cakap, saya itu itu punya jam saya tada cakap itu Bahasa Melayu.. Tapi tengok saya punya saya punya pasal, dia saya ingat dia yang tak tahu cakap ini Bahasa Melayu..

Loganathan : Kalau tahu apa ..??

Duraisingham : Saya cakap sama ini lu..lu kata pigi Jamban.. Itu tada butul, perkataan yang patut ialah 'Pigi Tandas!'

Loganathan : My Lord..Pigi tandas!!!

Judge : Gentleman, gentlemen, before the court interpreted 'Die from Shock' or before I have to hold you for contempt of the National Language.. Please do us all a favour and continue in English...!!

Duraisingham : Very Good Judgement my Lord!

*****************

The best part of this group is that they are not only confined to courtroom humour. Their works range from press conferences to chit chatting at the Spa. Satiring Malaysian lifestyle that we are too familiar of especially politics. Apart from that, they have improvised a few songs with vocalists that could beat the Akademi Fantasia participants hands down. For more of details, you can visit their website or better still watch their videos on YouTube.

Top Ten: Ways to be a 'Great' politician

This is the third Top Ten of the series. To check out previous ones, click on the label-Top Ten. This week, we are going to ponder on ways to be a 'great' politician (note the inverted commas). Ways to ascend the political ladder faster than KJ and keeping you in office longer than Samy Vellu.

10. Divert the real question.
How many times have you read or heard interviews where the interviewer will ask "What is Y.B.'s opinion about......." and the politician will give a totally out of the topic answer? Every time right? Keep the people away from the problems that you cant solve and make them focus on the one that you can or you think you can.Try doing that and you will climb the political hierarchy in no time.

9. Accept and distribute gifts.
Accept holidays, shares or maybe a new car from businessmen and give them contracts, projects and land in return. Focus on your negotiating skills and learn how to bargain. After a few years you will get your income without any effort and you could cover things up by doing charity work e.g. inviting people to your 'palace' for a game of bowling give money at every open house (good investment)

8. Have a good relationship with celebrities
like Mawi or the recently famous Malaysian Astronaut, Dr. Sheikh Muzafar Shukor. Bring them to your campaign. Make them talk nice things about you and your party. Launch their albums or books. Turn them into the party's icon. Most importantly don't forget to give them their 'souvenirs' while you are at it.

7. Deliver long speeches
but with little or no points at all. Keep rambling for hours and hours. The longer you talk the better they think your oratory skills are. One of the PM once did this. The next day, the headlines of the newspaper was 'PM berucap 5 jam tanpa teks (PM gave a speech for 5 hours without a text)' . Good publicity, isn't it?

6. Invent a new word
or a new term. This is another way to ascend the political ladder swiftly. Many have done it and many have succeeded . The people will never forget you as long as the word is being used regularly. Hence, we can assume that the more words that you create, the more your popularity rates are. e.g. the word glocal for 'global but local' (Najib), kesinambungan for continuation (Anwar), dara for blood, dada for drugs (Samy Vellu).

5. Able to do damage control.
Especially if you get caught in a sex scandal like the previous Health Minister. Keep cool and say "It's me in the video but I didn't make the video"

4. 'Yes man' goes a long way.
Say what your superiors want to hear. Support them unconditionally. Criticise their detractors. Rally behind them and show your support. If all goes well, you will smell the promotion that is waiting for you at the end of the road. But if they lose, its time to shift allegiance.

3. Issue contradictory statements.
Lets just say that there were times when you were on the present bos' bad side, for example you wrote a thesis criticising their administration. It is time to make a complete U-turn. distance yourself from your thesis by saying that its just an academic practice and you are now 100% behind his leadership. Hey, even politicians are allowed to change their minds.

2. Make a good comeback.
A life of a politician have its ups and downs. When you are at the most bottom never ever think of resigning.This is an opportunity for you to make a comeback, Remember, quitting politics means foregoing the chance to make easy money, it is a fight worth fighting for. One of the most famous comeback revolves around a politician who had been charged of money trafficking to Australia. He tendered his resignation as MB and head of the Selangor's UMNO. But stayed on until the time is right to pounce back.His excuse of 'I don't understand English' and some fortunate 'investments' apparently saved himself from further investigation. Now, he is a minister and the head of Selangor's UMNO once again.

1. Tell lies directly in your supporters face.
One example that I can highlight is that you tell the people that you wont dissolve the Parliament tomorrow but next day, you announce the dissolution of the Parliament. Do this and without a doubt you will be the 'most respectable' politician in the world. Con men from all over will come to you and learn from the master himself.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Lets see what the experts have to say about this mind boggling question.

Kindergarten teacher: Because it wanted to get to the other side.

Malaysian driver: To see the accident on the other side lorh!

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Donald Reagan : I forget.

Richard Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, did NOT cross the road.

Arthur Andersen (consultant) :Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competences required for the newly competitive market. Andersen, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align thechicken people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.Computer Programmer:
In order for the chicken to cross the road safely they would need more than one driver to access the server farm, if not they will hang in the middle of the road.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross aroad? I mean, why doesn't anyone everthink to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not onlycross roads, but will lay eggs, file yourimportant documents, and balance your checkbook.

Colonel Sanders (KFC) : I missed one?

Bill Clinton: I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...

Dr M:You know, I am tired of all this...'apa-nama' chicken-chicken bisnes...the foreign powers should stop intervening in our domestic affairs and just leave our chickens alone.. If they want to... 'apa nama' cross the road, they should be allowed to cross the road...
Malaysia is a democratic country; we le tour chickens do whatever they want to do... as long as they don't threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the government...and if they plan to do so... we won't hesitate to use the ISA...

Pak Lah:Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan percaya khabar - khabar angin ini semua... biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam-ayam semua... jangan percaya... jangan percaya...

Sammy Vellu :Ayyooyoo... belakang cerita lain kali, kita sude bikin banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna jembatan untuk lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu itu ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan, beritau sama saya juga,saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll........

Karam Singh Walia (TV3) :Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan ayam-ayam itu sedang melintas jalan. Mereka bukan sahaja melintas jalan, malah membuang najis di atas jalan dan ini adalahpencemaran yang paling hebat di maya ini. Bapa-bapa dan ibu-ibu ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untukmelatih ayam-ayam agar menahan najis sewaktu melintas jalan, sekian saya sudahi dengan.........Ayam di jalan dilintaskan; Ayam di reban mati tak makan.

Wan Kamarudin (Edisi Siasat NTV7) :Ape kejadahnyer ini semua, KL dah jadik reban ayam, mak bapak ayam asyik menganga saje.

Zainal Ariffin Ismail (Misteri Nusantara TV3) :Ada saksi menyatakan yang mereka apat melihat ayam-ayam ini melintasi jalan-jalan di kampung ini pada waktu malam. Ada yang menyatakan ayam-ayam ini merupakan penyamaran jin.Dan ada juga mengaitkan ia berkaitan dengan peristiwa silam di kampung ini. Apakah sebenarnya maksud tersirat ayam-ayam ini melintas jalan? Oleh itusaya akhiri, "Jangan biarkan hidup anda diselubungi misteri........."

Ministers in the cabinet : We will set up a panel to investigate if this video footage of chicken crossing the road is authentic.

Nazri Aziz : Bodoh, Bodoh, Bodoh, the chicken did not cross the road. It just walk across it.

Ramli Ngah Talib(Parliament chair speaker) : Mind your language Nazri. From now on, the word 'chicken' is included in the 114 words that cannot be uttered in the Parliament.

Lingam : It looks like a chicken, it sounds like a chicken but its not a chicken.

Zainal Alam Kadir(Wayang Kita Astro) : Ayam siapa kalau bukan ayam kita...

Dan Brown (Da Vinci's code author) : The chicken used to a member of a secret society Poultry of Sion. The Opus Dei chickens are on its back because of the missing parshments of Les Dossiers Secrets. And they(Opus Dei)are known for their 'corporal mortification' practice.

George Bush: These chicken inspector must be allowed to do their job....Let me stress now...their plutonium enrichment program must be stop, and make no mistake, we are not going to tolerate another WMD producing rouge chicken state, they are axis of evil state....and put all our options on the table..

Dr. Goh(maths lecturer): Its a long story....

Mr. Francis(accounts lecturer) : According to the accounting concept of Prudence, the chicken is estimating thier unrealised loss by going to the other side.

Ms. Kimmie(econs lecturer): The demand for chicken is rising on the other side. As supply on the other side is diminishing and prices begins to rise, the chickens from this side crosses over to let the market achieve the previous market equilibrium.

Mainstream Media : (headline)" Opposition entice the chicken to cross the road. All chicken die."

Chandler Bing(friends) : Could that chicken BE crossing any roads.

Pemuda UMNO : No matter how many chickens cross the road, we will still give our undivided support tu Pak Lah.

Mukhriz Mahathir: Since there has been many incidents of chicken crossing roads, I urge the PM take full responsibilty of this crisis and do the right thing(resign).

Rafidah Aziz :I don't care about chicken crossing roads, all I care is that i didn't get a cabinet post.

Khir Toyo: This is a result of ill treatment by the new government of Selangor towards the chickens. See, now they are crossing to the other side. Hmm.. maybe I'll add this to my new blog.

Zainuddin Maidin: This is not Pakistan, this is not Burma, this is not Thailand. Unlike there, our chickens do not cross roads.

Chicken: Mind your own business.

but I think the most accurate answer is

Political analyst: The 'chickens'(politician) cross the road(switch parties) to get to the stronger party after election.

Related links:

Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things
Top Ten: Ways to be a 'Great' politician
Flip Flop Plunder