Pay it Forward

How do you change the world? No, it doesn't involve saving any cheerleaders or supermodels. You have to do it one step at a time. And initiating the first step is above all the most challenging and difficult part. You would probably wondering why I am talking like 'Peter Petrelli' all of a sudden, all optimistic for a better and brighter tomorrow.

Well, let me introduce you to a concept that I just learned, Pay it Forward . I got this from watching a movie on Astro with the same title. Like most inspirational movies this one originated from a novel.

It started as a Social Studies extra credit project of a 7th Grader and turns out as a movement throughout America that touches and change thousands of lives. They call it the Pay it Forward Movement. The concept is quite simple. It is one that any person can implement in his or her own life, at any time. It begins with doing a favour for another person without any expectation of being paid back. Indeed one would request that the recipient of that favour do the same for someone else: ideally for three other people. The unconditional favors can be large or small. As Trevor(the boy) observes: it doesn't have to be a big thing. It can just seem that way, depending on whom you do it for.

It is like another form of pyramid scheme, minus the fraud. The most important thing is that it shows that you don't have to be rich like Oprah to be able to change lives. Start small.

If you're still not convinced that this might work or curious on the details visit http://www.payitforwardfoundation.org/ . Maybe it's time for Malaysia to embrace it. Other countries have done it. What are we waiting for?

Then, perhaps in the future you'll stumble upon someone in distress and help them. When he/she asks what you want in return. You'll just say Pay it Forward.

How it all began

Wondering how the credit crisis starts? Watch this video to get a simple idea of it.

Top Ten: Reasons To School Them In English

Below are examples of how many of us speak English today. Taken from The Malaysian Today. Out of 100, I chose only 10. They are all true cases.

10. In a hotel a girl calls out to her friends: "Come lets jump into the poo(pool)"

9. A student writing an essay on how to bake a cake,
After all the ingredients are poured in the bowl, DISTURB (stir) the mixture....

8. At a job interview:
Q: You have a long name. So how do I address you?
A: I live in Gombak Setia sir.

7. Another essay by a student: "He suffer from low SELF OF STEAM (self-esteem)"

6. Overheard at a coffeeshop:
"No, I don't want iced lemon tea. I want teh-o-ais-limau."

5. An article by a journalism student in a local university:
"The man died after the post mortem."

4. During a war scene in a movie, a soldier tells his men to run for cover and screams "duck!". The subtitles read: "ITIK!"

3. A part time worker at a concert hall needs to stamp the wrists of patrons going out for a break. She says: "Excuse me sir, can I chop your hand"

2. "Wait later I call you on my CELLULITE phone (cellular phone)"

1. Interview between an airline company and a flight attendant wannabe.
Q: What do you know about flight safety procedures?
A: Passengers must leave their belongigs during EJACULATION (evacuation)

Check out other Top Tens

Ex-ST reporter to publish 'frank' book on Malaysia

SINGAPORE, Sept 17 - As Malaysia continues to grapple with political troubles, a former Straits Times reporter is throwing a few more stories into the mix. Former senior correspondent Ismail Kassim, 65, who was the paper's first Kuala Lumpur correspondent, is publishing a book about his experiences in the country that he says is -frank-.

The 314-page -A Reporter's Memoir: No Hard Feelings-, which he will launch in late October, covers his experiences as a reporter in Malaysia and also includes his thoughts about what he says are sensitive topics.

-Nothing is sacred. I have expressed my views clearly on all issues from race relations to faith and religion and political differences between Singapore and Malaysia,- he said.

-Whether I write about my boyish escapades or my tribulations over faith or my recollections of Lee Kuan Yew, Goh Chok Tong, Mahathir, Anwar, Pak Lah, Najib and others, I have adopted the same irreverent approach and the same nonchalant brush,- he added, referring to top leaders past and present in Malaysia and Singapore.

Having -stepped on many toes-, however, he felt he had to say -no hard feelings- to all of them - hence the title. -This is my way of reminding all of those mentioned in the narrative not to take things to heart,- he said.

The book documents Ismail's life as a former teacher, soldier, reporter and unionist, with about a third of it dwelling on his 15 years in Kuala Lumpur providing Singaporeans with first-hand coverage of politics across the Causeway.

Now a retiree, Ismail had spent more than a year putting the book together -primarily to entertain himself, his friends and former fans-.

-A Reporter's Memoir: No Hard Feelings- will be launched at the end of October at the National Library.

Related Posts:

Bloggers are individuals
Weekend Debut
Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things

Road to 16 Sept

Expressing as such only strengthens the notion and giving the perception that even the government doesn’t have faith in our legal system.

Some dismiss it as a baseless rumour 'to create uncertainty in this country' while some affirmed that everything is going according to plan and the plan will materialise as the right time comes (may not be exactly 16 Sept after all). As we get closer to the D-day itself, Malaysians are watching from the sidelines as the politicians from both sides show off their theatrics. First, the cat and mouse chase to Taiwan. Now, the crackdown on activists.

For one 'baseless rumour', the government sure are going to great lengths to thwart it. Even though this motive was denied, who are they to kid us? The desperation of the BN government is as vivid as an ink stain on a white shirt. It just can't be washed off with the water of denial. With the anticipated day looming, the BN should start to admit that that the threats are real and seriously begin their much talked about reform.

Yes, reform. The word that has been frequently used since BN suffered their most embarrassing defeat in the 8th March general election. Ironically, all their proposed efforts of reforming be it through more freedom of expression or transparency and rule of law have gone down the drain with the recent ISA blitz of prominent blogger-Raja Petra Kamarudin, MP-Teresa Kok and a reporter- Tan Hoon Cheng (which was released 20hrs after her arrest due to immense public pressure).

The excuse of using this draconian law in favour of our national security is preposterous. Expressing as such only strengthens the notion and giving the perception that even the government doesn’t have faith in our legal system. And in politics, perception is everything. If the government has no confidence in the judicial process, how could we, the less significant, place our confidence in the similar process?

Perhaps it is true; things will get a whole lot worse before it can get any better. To borrow a quote from the movie The Dark Night, “The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.” Whether the dawn is on the 16th or any other date is another matter. It’s coming.

P.S. My friends ask me if I support the crossovers. I can only answer, "Let them (politicians) do whatever they want. When they are really ready to govern, then you tell me." -NHF

Related posts:

Roadblocks Anyone?
Of Murder and Sodomy
Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things

Top Ten: Signs You Are Approaching a By-election

10. Some groups take to the streets to protest against a concert by a foreign artist.

9. Certain group of supporters launch an event “Beat The Journalist”

8. Muslims spend a lot more time at the mosques, for the ceramah and free praying mat.

7. Every eligible voter is RM300 richer.

6. Bus tickets to the constituency are sold out.

5. Petrol price decreased a few days before.

4. The MB announces that there will be a public holiday for the state.

3. Somebody got sodomized.

2. No ‘real’ news in the newspaper.

1. Someone with the name ‘Arif Shah’ or ‘Anwar’ knocks on you front door.

Check out other Top Tens

Unhappy ending

Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.
1st ghost : How u died?

2nd ghost : I died of cold.

1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?

2nd ghost : Actually, I was imprisoned in the refrigerator. Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died. Fortunately, I died with not much sufferings.

1st ghost : You're so pityful....

2nd ghost : How about you? How did u die?

1st ghost : I died from heart attack.

2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?

1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man. One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone. I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing. Because I was too tired of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.

2nd ghost : Why didn't you look for the bastard in the fridge? If you did, both of us would be alive now!!

Top Ten: Signs Pak Lah Has Too Much Time On His Hands

10. Spends most of the day looking for friends on Facebook.

9. Stops by Najib's office every five minutes to see if he's doing his work.

8. He goes from home to home campaigning in Permatang Pauh.

7. Sits in front of Sri Perdana and waves at cars.

6. The man has the whole set of 'FRIENDS' in his office.

5. Gives the Putrajaya lake boat tour.

4. Earlier today, he washed and waxed Prime Minister's personal jet.

3. Writes an article for Malaysiakini and Malaysia Today.

2. Takes part in the Beijing Olympics.

1. Finally catching up on unread intelligence memos.

Check out other Top Tens

Roadblocks Anyone?

The area that was cordoned off was so big that if there were any mamak stalls nearby, they could even have their meals there complete with tables and umbrellas.

Forget about blogs for now. Roadblocks are the new 'in' thing. If we used to ask why blog? Now we would be asking why roadblock? When we're done with that question, a few other passes our mind. Do we have excessive roads that we need a few of them blocked? By blocking a few roads, will it reduce costs in line with the current cost cutting stance of the government? Why build the road in the first place if you want to block it?

After asking these questions, one thing is for sure. If the government thinks that blogs are a nuisance then it is fair to say that the people, however, think that roadblocks are a bigger nuisance. The people blogs to irritate the government. The government block roads to irritate the people. Fair enough. Why compare these two things; blogs and (road)blocks? Well, because they sound almost the same. That's all.

Now that we have established that roadblocks are indeed undesirable, why is it still here? They are occasionally put along the roads heading towards the city centre on certain days and once in a while could even span to the whole country. It's like the authorities talking among themselves "Hey, I just got a raise. Let's have mass roadblocks to commemorate this lucky day". Maybe we could also include this in our 'Tahun Melawat Malaysia' campaign, "Experience traffic jam like never before, only in Malaysia".

Obviously they are not smart enough to do that. They usually justify this ineffective and inefficient exercise of channelling resources which is most of them are taxpayers' money as a necessary evil. No matter how inconvenient it may be, it is done for the sake of this glorious nation's security and prosperity and......... (a few other reasons to make us feel good). The most recent excuse is 'to avoid any untoward incidents'. Let me tell you something, the roadblocks are the untoward incidents.

Fine, if our security and the peace of the country is their argument, lets examine the effectiveness of this method. Roadblocks, as we frequently watch on television might have its advantages if we are searching for a suspect of crime or terrorist like osama laden, mas selamat, corrupted officials trying to leave the country and people smuggling oil to the neighbouring countries. However, in any case of a demonstration, is it logical to construct a roadblock(other than the venue of the demo) especially on the stretch of an already busy highway?

Do they expect that they could identify every protester and stop them by the roadside? Based on my few experiences of participating in this every-other-day event, the police would just make the otherwise 3 lane highway into just one lane or two. Next they would stand there until their time is up and then pack up to resume their real jobs which is preventing crime. The area that was cordoned off was so big that if there were any mamak stalls nearby, they could even have their meals there complete with tables and umbrellas.

Just imagine, while we are stuck in the barely crawling traffic jam caused by the roadblock, we heard a policeman shouting from a distance "Mamak, roti telur satu.", "Siaaap"-NHF

Chopping down the cherry tree - M'sian political version

By Vijay Kumar Murugavell

I remember a story told to me by my late father regarding telling the truth and facing the consequences. It has been a story told by many a father to his offspring.I am of the conviction that the truth is not always a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and many of us miss the point when it comes to taking decisive action. Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. The story goes that George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe. His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth:‘I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.’

Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question:

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - ‘I did not cut down the tree , I was just taking a nap underneath it.’

Najib Razak - ‘I swear that I have never MET that tree.’

Hishamuddin Hussein Onn- ‘...but I only own a keris ,not axe, how to cut down the tree?’

Dr Mahathir Mohamd - ‘Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.’

Chua Soi Lek - ‘Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.’

VK Lingam - ‘It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think its me.’

Anwar Ibrahim - ‘I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.’

Mohd Khir Toyo - ‘The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.’

Ahmad Said (Terengganu MB) - ‘I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.’

Azalina Othman - ‘The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down and besides there were unauthorised signboards put up around the tree.’

Shabery Cheek - ‘I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.’

S Samy Velu - ‘I chopped it because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.

Wira Ali Rustam - ‘We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees , pear trees and all these other foreign trees.’

Rais Yatim - ‘You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustam said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.’

Sharir Samad - ‘I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.’

Karpal Singh - ‘The bigfoot creature did it.’

Bung Mokhtar - ‘The big monkey did it’

Pandikar Amin Mulia - ‘There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry treesKinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk .

Khairy Jamaluddin - I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?’

Lim Kit Siang - ‘Cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford!’

Nazri Abdul Aziz - ‘Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now...’

Malaysian Citizens - ‘Oh for heavens sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death!’

Related posts:

Laugh Out Loud
Top Ten: Police Quotes

Expired DNA

Excerpts from Malaysian Insider:

Putrajaya, July 18 — Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi joined the chorus of
ministers and government officials urging Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim to give a sample for a DNA test and prove his innocence.
“If he insists that he is not involved, he should give the sample now and we will see the results as proof,” said the Prime Minister. He noted that police want to complete their investigations as soon as possible but was unable to do so because of Anwar's unwillingness to give a blood sample for a DNA test.The opposition leader has refused to entertain any request for blood samples, saying that he believed that the police would fabricate evidence against. Instead, he suggested that police rely on DNA which was extracted during the investigations into sodomy charges ten years ago.But Abdullah said:
“The DNA sample the authorities have is too old, so they need a new sample, what is wrong in giving?” Speaking to reporters today, he also dismissed talk that the accusation by a former aide against Anwar was part of a political conspiracy. But he conceded that he could not stop the international media from floating the idea of a conspiracy.“Actually what they are accusing us of is not right at all,” he said, adding that he had given his assurance to Parti Keadilan Rakyat president Datuk Seri Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail and its vice-president Azmin Ali that the investigation would be conducted professionally.“I can give the
assurance. Even his wife met me for a guarantee that a repeat of the earlier
‘black eye incident’ would not happen.

YB Azmin asked for an assurance and I said he (Anwar) will be safe and that we will investigate according to the provisions of the law,” he said.Meanwhile in Kota Baru, Kelantan Mentri Besar Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat criticised the media for going overboard in their coverage of the sodomy allegations against Anwar. He was upset with the wall to wall coverage
in newspapers and wanted to know why his arrest was front page news but his
release was relegated to the inside pages.“Why must the media take pride in shaming him? Anwar is a human being and not an angel or devil. He is a Malay Muslim so I ask why must there be a concerted effort to shame him in the front pages of the media,” he said in his weekly sermon here Friday.

It seems that our beloved PM has little knowledge when it comes to medical related stuff. DNA samples becoming obsolete? Do we really need the sample whereas the pattern of his DNA should already be within the Police's database? Can we conclude that maybe the previous sample is no longer in their possession? Poured on some mattress maybe?

When it comes to explaining the scientific procedures, I would prefer some expert to do the talking. Not someone who listens halfway and sleeps halfway into the explanation. If I didn't know any better I would mistakenly interpret Pak Lah's statement as follow:

"The DNA has expired, we have long exceed its expiry date, there are also concerns that the DNA could have changed (evolution) over the years"

But thank god he didn't really say that. Where would he hide his face?

Top Ten: Police Quotes

These 10 were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

8. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

7. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

6. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

5. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'

4. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

3. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't...Sign here.'

Click here for other Top Tens

Flip Flop Plunder

When he said its another two years of reign
It drove into my spine a sharp piercing pain
But its sure worse for the idiot in-waiting
Not to mention Imelda the wife, the queen of shopping

Now that PKR and friends are deep into the game
Not witch hunting but digging their dirt all the same
With Altantuya, the jet and submarine scandals
Nothing the two could do with such a hefty load to handle

What about the punks in Umno who are out for the post
Or those in the know who want covered dirt exposed
Even Pak Lah the flip flop may want him chopped
Like a slow released time bomb waiting to be dropped

Would the nation again believe the same poor liwat script?
With the faggot P.A. getting his behind whipped?
For he could just kick Anwar's 'forefront'
If Anwar really did, and he did'nt really want

The stupid moron must really be a sick spent homo
For he could have advanced but Anwar said No
If it worked, he could've enjoyed a two-in-one hole
One for the script writer, and the other for his gayish soul

Hey is it really that easy to see that 'mighty menteri'?
Just pop in, knock the door for he is ever ready?
Or go to his villa, peep by the gate and you are welcome
As his palace is an open hose;not just for some

Come on dude we're not stupid nor dumb
Even a standard one kid wink an eye to his mom
Upon hearing the news he asked, do they think we are Forrest Gump?
To believe the plot from those unholy scums?

For as long as UMNO Malays keep bowing to any idiot with clout
Always say yes to the boss but at the back cursing him loud
Like the loony Malacca son of Rustam or the progeny of Toyo
That keep only the UMNO Malays dumber with their political yo yo

Whosoever voice out, they brand as power crazy opposition
Fearing their status quo lost, no more chance to rip the nation
For fifty long years they kept promising and pledging
Supposedly fighting for the poor but only their bellies kept bulging

Oh the number 1 was ever so humbly, honest and Godly at the start
Being the imam for prayers and reading religious poetry to win people's heart
As if those were not enough to impress, he boasted Mr Clean ad invented Hadari
But people got depressed as he got more dirty increasing wealth for his family

He cheated election, bribed voters and made the Police and Judiciary tools
To conveniently contrive, manipulate, and made us fools
Forgetting all the promises, pledges and pleading when he needed support
Turning deaf ears, and perennially day-sleep even in court

Enough is enough of UMNO's bulls and fakeries
It's high time we kick their behinds and draw the boundaries
Wipe off theses political maggots and let Malaysia be clean
The future of our children and motherland is not for spin

By Ibn Sheikh Kabeer

Related Posts:

Chopping down the cherry tree - M'sian political version
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Your Parrot Is Dead Senor

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'
'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'
'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'
'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'
'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'
'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'
'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'
'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!'
'Yes, Senor Rod.'
'But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?'
'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'
'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade Super Quad 460 golf club.'

SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . LONG SILENCE

'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!!'

Of Murder and Sodomy

If the accusation is in line with the government then it's fact. If it's not then it's just slander.

The recent developments of Malaysian politics just do not augur well for Najib and Anwar. Believe me, they won't hesitate to use any dirt that have acquired to their own benefits. Prior to this, The PM, Abdullah Badawi and the former PM, Dr. Mahathir Mohamed had brought their feud to the public. It started a few years after Abdullah succession, and is still ongoing reaching its climax when Dr. M decided to quit UMNO (baru).

With round 1 ending up in a draw, as neither is yet to quit, the nation's attention is now fixed on round round 2. The Deputy PM, Najb Abd Razak vs the former Deputy PM, Anwar Ibrahim. If this turns out to be another draw, then there better be a round 3 or how on earth are we going to determine whether the winner would be from team current or team former.

To those who are keeping scores, lets do a recap. The first strike was from Anwar's side as Raja Petra made a Statutory Declaration (SD) implicating Najib's wife, Rosmah Mansor at the crime scene with 2 other individuals. Then Najib countered it with allegations of sodomy against Anwar. While he denied in having any part in this, the subsequent revelation which reveals that he met the accuser before is enough proof that he is playing with the strings and calling the shots. Anwar strikes again with another SD but now it is from Razak Baginda's private investigator, P. Balasubramaniam which infers that Najib might have know Altantuya after all and more than in a friendly manner. The next point goes to Najib as Bala 'conveniently' retracted his SD made about Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak’s alleged involvement with Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu.

However, the last point might not go to Najib because Bar Council president Datuk Ambiga Sreenevasan. said that the statutory declaration made by private investigator P. Balasubramaniam linking Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak with Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu, cannot be withdrawn. It is also significant to note that some interested party had 'interfered' with the case causing Bala to come up with a second SD. He said he compelled to affirm the said(first) statutory declaration under duress. Nevertheless, it may be logical to say that his retraction was made under duress.

In response to this whole saga Najib confidently stated that Malaysian politics was degenerating to a level of being dirty with the opposition using slander and statutory declaration to achieve their political objectives. By saying this on the other hand affirms he is also playing dirty. Why wouldn't he? Did he not resort to slander to achieve his political objectives? In this case eliminating Anwar from the equation.

Before we go further in discussing whether did he or did he not let's define slander. Slander: Oral communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation. The key word here is false. And how do we determine whether it is false or not? By conducting a fair trial of course. And then and only then would we really know if it's slander or just a fact. Until proven otherwise an accusation should be treated as that, there should be no instances of the Attorney General charging a accuser for false accusation just to cover the behind of someone. Unfortunately, our understanding about rumours and slander are different. If the accusation is in line with the government then it's fact. If it's not then it's just slander.

As before, Najib denied that he ever known or met Altantuya. In retrospect, guess what the 'wise' and 'sage'-like PM said when Anwar denied the sodomy allegation. "The accused will normally deny the allegation,". So it would be normal for Najib and Anwar to deny the allegations as they are the accused. Denials=Accused. Give two thumbs up for the sage for coming up with such remarkable concept.

It will be long before we see the end of this and it's not for us decide on their verdict. It incumbent on our judicial system to heave the burden of proving itself worthy. In the mean time, it would be a delight for the politicians to stop politicking and focus on us instead. A word of advice to politicians regarding statements "whatever you say, can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion". -NHF

Life is now more intersting than any soap opera.

Laugh Out Loud

Life is getting tougher by the day wouldn't you say. Police reports lodged here and there seems to be cuing that Malaysia is no longer a safe haven to most of us. Considering the abundance of police reports lodged, there is a possibility that one of these days, we could also be reported for something no matter how trivial the grounds may be, say public disturbance from your newborn baby for instance. To discuss on this would be quite a nightmare as the probable outcome would be endless . From 'the widespread of public awareness that Malaysia is no longer safe' to 'the writer accused of disrupting peace by conveying slanders to his readers'.

For my sake and yours, no politics , no economics and no heavy stuff. I'm afraid if I keep going on and on about the same thing I might eventually suffer from repetitive strain injury. So, I'll write something different today. The thing about writing is, you will never have a peace of mind until you completely penned down everything that goes on in it. Your ideas will keep on playing inside your head like old reruns until you decide to regurgitate it. In my case, type it in my blog. Let's hope that this piece would not turnout into just mere babbles.

Naturally, this stressful lifestyle that we live in, referring to the above example, high cost of living and etc, is bound to take its toll. We could probably witness some serious cases of nervous breakdown in the near future. Obviously, straining ourselves just because everyone else is, isn't the best idea. Life shouldn't be taken too seriously. Laugh along the way. Find joy and comedy wherever you may seek as it would lighten even the heaviest burden.

Once in a while, Google and you tube some funny videos. Read up the comics section everyday. Enjoy the comedy. Be entertained by jokes online. Laughter is the best medicine and to treat the worst kinds of diseases today, you surely need the best medicine there is. So what if your boss is a total jerk? So what if you had a bad hair day? So what if you ............ As long as you have your Russel Peters video nothing could go wrong.

Top Ten : Incidents Related to Oil Price Hike

Regarding the recent 'unpopular' price hike, I would like to present to you Top Ten : Incidents Related to Oil Price Hike.

10. Bill Gates made an announcement that he would resign to venture in the oil industry.

9. An unemployed person holds a placard “Will work for gas”

8. Sometime in the future, “I want to purchase this house for 10 barrels of oil”

7. With every purchase of 10 litres of gas, you will get a free car.

6. A burglar enters the petrol kiosk while pointing a gun to the cashier “This is a robbery, quick, give me a full tank”

5. Police officer: Hmm…the burglar didn’t take anything except siphoning gas from the car.

4. Next to the pirated DVD’s there is a counter that says ‘Cheap oil by the litre’

3. At the bank, “I need a loan to buy some gas please”

2. Ah long (loan shark) comes to your doorstep, “Where is the 25 litres of petrol that you owe me, including interest, that’s about 125 litres”

1. After being asked to pullover Ali said to the policeman, “What if I give you half a tank and we assume that this never happened”

Check out other Top Ten here

Post Exam

Last Friday( Fri the 13th) marks the end of my A-Levels external exam. I had a lot of things to say and a lot of things to write but I had to focus on Econs, Maths and Accounts so this blog has been 'quiet' for some time now. But as I am now free as a bird, you can count on this blog to be operational as usual. You can anticipate my next post as soon as I finish my post exam celebration ... hahaha, toodles.

Top Ten: Signs Paula Abdul Needs A Vacation

Courtesy of Late Show with David Letterman

10. Calls every contestant "Sanjaya"

9. Didn't give any compliments

8. Thought Randy is Michael Jackson's brother

7. Simon chews his pen, she eats them like pretzel rods

6. After a song, she asks to buy a vowel

5. Asks the contestants if they want to use a lifeline if they were eliminated

4. She and five imaginary friends are planning to rob Mick Jagger

3. Begins every sentence with, "This may be the gin talking"

2. Hasn't seduced a contestant in weeks

1. Amy Winehouse called her and said, "Dude, you're nuts"

The New Age Dictionary

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

And Finally,

Technology : When everyone is crowding in front of the TV waiting for American Idol's results, you've already seen it on youtube.

Malaysian Artiste For Unity

Quoted from Malaysian artistes for unity website

"bored. so he telephoned a few friends. “how about getting together to make
an anti-racism national unity song and music video?” all said yes without
hesitation. not because pete threatened them with a sharp and rusty knife.
but only because they love Malaysia."

Our artistes have made their move, when will our politicians?

Top Ten: Ways to Make AF More Interesting

If I were not mistaken Akademi Fantasia (AF) reveals its finalists last night. Some may cherish as their favourites are qualified for the finals and some may not. After 6 seasons of airing, there calls for this over publicised reality show to take a rest and perhaps continue after they devise a new formula to enchant the crowd again. Nevertheless, if they are still continuing the show next year, here are some advices for you. It may be pricey, but it's worth it.

10. Rafidah Aziz and Shahrizat as contestants to add some 'colour' to the show.

9. Then again, grandmas shouldn't participate in the show and reintroduce the age limit.

8. The host, AC Mizal, announces the reunion of his former band 4U2C and plan a roadshow around the country.

7. Create a mascot for AF, just like Digi except it is red in colour and able to dance.

6. Change the name of the show from AF to FA.

5. Invite Simon Cowell to be one of the guest judges.

4. If not, let him be the principal of AF7.

3. Make it an online only show, that worked for Malaysian Dream Girls.

2. To make the participants more comfortable singing, renovate the stage to look like a bathroom.

1. Use a new motto, "Now everyone can sing LIVE".

Royal Pain

There are so many things happening in Malaysia's political scene presently that if I were to choose a few simple words to describe it, I would say that "it is anything but dull".

With these circumstances, it's no surprise that political analysts or commentators are most likely to be employed and post 8th of March election, we saw quite a few more blossoming unofficially, including me I guess. Discussions in Kopitiams and Mamaks are as heated as ever. Speculations after speculations have been made but nothing is really certain, yet. Like I said, even a layman could now become a political analyst and speculate Malaysia’s political course albeit with his own unique interpretation.

Saving this matter for later let us move on to another issue. One of the most contentious news this week is regarding Karpal Sigh’s statement which is considered insulting to the Rulers and Islam. This issue comes about when Karpal allegedly questioned the power of the Sultan of Perak over a transfer of a civil servant. Now, let me make things clear by saying that I will not be analysing the legality of his actions and to those who seek just that, pardon me for disappointing you .What I am trying to analyse here is the reaction of the people (political analyst) towards his statement.

In about a few days, 19 police reports was made alleging Karpal to be seditious. Some go to the extent labelling Karpal’s action as tantamount to being disrespectful to Islam. Is it just me or all this seems a tad too dramatic. We never really did bother to lodge any police report when our neighbors’ house got robbed. We never bothered to report the corruption and the abuse of power occurring right in front of our eyes. And yet a meagre statement could somehow attract 19 different police reports against it. In retaliation someone from Pakatan Rakyat (PR) lodgeed a report (only one) against Pak Lah under the Sedition act due to his comment towards YDP Agong’s action of appointing his own choice of MB, - “the appointment of anyone other than Idris (as Terengganu’s MB) is unconstitutional and invalid”.

It is clear that both parties here are playing the same game and we as the spectators only hope that justice will prevail. Charge Karpal for Sedition and you just have to subject the PM under the same charges. Isn’t that how justice should work? No one is above the law as Pak Lah always says. If that is the case, then we have to look a little further back into our history books. Recently it was the appointment of MB’s of Perlis and Terengganu. Before that there was Muhd Taib’s ‘conflict’ with the Selangor’s Sultan, the government reducing the power of the Rulers and most importantly the Constitutional Crisis. If we were to dig all this and scrutinise bit by bit, a lot of UMNO members would inevitably be charged with sedition. Even Dr. M would have to worry about a new case in his hands. This would then come under the Sedition Act that categorised “bring into hatred or contempt or to excite disaffection against any Ruler or against any Government” as having seditious tendency.

On the other hand, I’m no lawyer. You can do a little research yourselves or seek legal advice to confirm that one. Revisiting the first matter on speculations and the likes, it seems that Malaysians, and I do mean ordinary Malaysians like you and I, have a knack for them. When something new surfaces we examine it thoroughly and base on the information available, we arrive at a particular speculation. Until it is definite, it will merely remain as one. While speculations are sometimes harmful to the economy, i.e. 1997 currency crisis, it can also do a great deal of damage to the political stability, either for a certain party or the country as a whole. This is regularly so when political advisors give counsel to the MP’s based on a knee jerk reaction towards sheer speculations.

One clear example is the ongoing news about the crossovers of MP’s from BN to PR. We can see that BN MP’s are now dancing with PR’s tunes by giving unnecessary remarks and comments about the crossovers. It is more disappointing when an entire parliamentary session was focused on the same issue. It seems that they are too engrossed in this speculation and forgot about other important things to discuss about. It does not do to dwell on speculation and forget to live. As a so-called ‘political analyst’ I would say that BN could act proactive by starting to treat their MP’s fairly without discriminating them. Try to win their hearts instead of condemning the act of crossing over because that will not deter anyone from executing their initial intention. To PR, I hope that whatever your next move is, it will be for the sake of the greater good. The earlier the speculation ends (read: confirmed) the earlier our MP’s could get back to work.

To top it up, I reiterate that in Malaysia, there is no such thing as too many political analysts. There is, however, such thing as too many political advisors. In which case one of them might get entangled in a high profile murder involving a foreign model. - NHF

Red Skelton's Recipe For The Perfect Marriage

Richard Bernard “Red” Skelton (July 18, 1913 – September 17, 1997) was an American comedian who was best known as a top radio and television star from 1937 to 1971. Skelton's show business career began in his teens as a circus clown and went on to vaudeville, Broadway, films, radio, TV, clubs and casinos, while pursuing another career as a painter.



This is from one of his acts, The Perfect Marriage, enjoy.

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a littlebeverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go onFridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine isin Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere .... but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggestedthe kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric breadmaker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sitdown!' So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running wellbecause there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was.She told me, 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for thegarbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know herfirst name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on theTV?' I said, 'Dust!'

'God Bless.'

Top Ten: Hollywood Remakes, Malaysian Style

Lately, we have seen a couple of made in Malaysia movies that scooped a few concepts from Hollywood movies. To name a few, KL Drift, Cicakman and Evolusi Drift are movies that aspire to be like their American counterparts but fail in many aspects. Perhaps directors, screenwriters and producers should consider these films as their next production.

10. Raba-man (Spider-man)

9. Poll Wars: BN Strikes Back (Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back)

8. Poll Wars: Return of the Opposition ( Star Wars: Return of the Jedi)

7. Million Dollar PM (Million Dolar Baby)

6. Stranger Than Fact (Stranger Than Fiction)

5. Pirates of the Straits (Pirates of the Caribbean)

4. National Treasure : Book of Scandals ( National Treasure: Book of Secrets)

3. There's Something about Mamaks (There's Something About Mary)

2. Majority Report (Minority Report)

1. The Goodfather-in-law (The Godfather)

Blogger Opts For Jail Over Bail

This month will surely not be the ever popular merry month of May, but it is a month that will be remembered nevertheless.

Just a week into May, following World Press Freedom Day, we witness the first blogger, Raja Petra Kamarudin (RPK), to be charged under the Sedition Act, after he allegedly posted a 'seditious' article titled "Let’s send the Altantutya murderers to hell" on his website Malaysia Today. The article implicated Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak and his wife Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor in the 2006 murder of Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu.

This and all other information are certainly available in the Mainstream Media or the Alternative Media. Therefore, I would not waste my time narrating each sequence of the events but would only offer you my critical take on it. By saying critical I mean the-one-who-does-not-take-the-government-seriously kind of take.

Before we go any further, it would be crucial for us to get to know the accused a little more. He started writing since his blog started its operation in August 2004. His writing style is often very witty, humorous and straight to the point. In addition, in his most recent post he admitted that if his articles were to be scrutinised, most article could fall under the government's category of seditious.

Hence, arise the question of why now? After almost four years of operation and god knows how many articles posted, why does this particular article that brought Raja Petra to court under the charge of sedition instead of the ones before. Why only after the Barisan Nasional suffer it's biggest defeat in history do the authorities launch their crackdown on 'seditious' bloggers.

Consequently, this merely strengthens my conviction that this entire saga is orchestrated by the powers that be to intimidate free speaking individuals and serve as a lesson to others that fall in the same league. I have to agree 100% with Lim Kit Siang's (DAP) take on this event.

"They (Najib and Rosmah) reserve the right to clear their names through the laws. So why have they used the government facilities to take action against Raja Petra Kamaruddin? This is the abuse of powers. There are other channels for the deputy prime minister and his family to take action against Raja Petra - to use civil action and litigation," he said.

Yes, this is a blatant abuse of powers and if anyone says otherwise, it's time for you to get your eyes, ears and everything checked. On the other hand, this is a perfect time to test the two most important institutions with regards to justice; the Judiciary and the police institution. Are they really independent as professed by the government time and again?

Officially keeping the score, I have to say that the police has been compromised, based on the whole "I take orders from above" incident of course. The Judiciary has yet to be evaluated and I'll be waiting eagerly for the moment to come in October. As for the implications and motives for this saga, I would say that there is more to it than meets the eye.

From the government's point of view, if we take on this maverick, we will make him pay for making us look like losers in the eyes of the people. If he goes down, Malaysia Today will go down with him(how wrong were they). An added bonus, bloggers will be more careful (read: scared) in posting comments critical to the establishment. Finally we will have order.

From RPK's point of view, this the most appropriate time to engage the government and bring down the scumbags in them. It is an opportunity to direct the public and government's back towards the dragging and bound to be forgotten Altantuya murder trial. Additionally, attracting local and foreign media attention towards atrocities done by the establishment.

As we can see, both sides have their own plans but as always man proposes God disposes. For now let us be patient and let fate take its own due course, the truth shall unravel inevitably. Either this will be a beginning of another form of Operation Lalang or the significant beginning of a war against the unjust.-NHF

Top Ten: George W. Bush Ideas For Stimulating the Economy

Courtesy of Late Show with David Letterman.

10.Send troops to invade U.S. Mint

9.Oprah gives everybody a new car

8.Turn Grand Canyon into a giant national "Have a penny, leave a penny" jar

7.Cheney threatens to shoot treasury secretary in the face

6.Plans to fix economy in third term

5.Replace Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke with briefcase babes from "Deal or No Deal"

4.Send elite team of economists to rob Mick Jagger's apartment

3.Ahhh -- somebody help...Cloverfield monster...Run for your lives!

2.Maybe not spending a billion dollars a month in Iraq?

1.Forget the economy -- why doesn't someone try stimulating Condoleezza?

Check out previous Top Ten posts here.

Blog: Raja Petra Kamarudin

To those who missed it, this was aired on RTM on 27th of April 2008

Raja Petra Kamarudin - RTM Interview 27 April 08 Part 1/3

Raja Petra Kamarudin - RTM Interview 27 April 08 Part 2/3

Raja Petra Kamarudin - RTM Interview 27 April 08 Part 3/3

Yes, you didn't read me wrong. It was aired on RTM. Very unlikely you say? Apparently it was part of the new Minister of Information's plan to recognise bloggers as an important force in the community. Now, every Sunday there will be a 20 min programme featuring a blogger who will then shed some light to some issues asked by the host. Guess the name of the show, it's Blog. Simple as that.

It seems that this programme has aired it's first episode a week ago featuring A Kadir Jasin. And for its second episode it decided, what the heck, lets invite Raja Petra and grill him on air. This will teach him a thing or two about messing with the government, so they thought. It turns out that Raja Petra was the one grilling the host, asking questions in response to the accusations and silly questions that the host has asked.

You can see somehow that he got caught in his own trap that was specifically designed and set up for Raja Petra. I bet that more than his pride was lost that night, his manhood too was stripped off him after the interview ended. He can be described as a rookie ringmaster taming the brave lion.

Enough about the host, lets focus on the show itself. I look at this programme from various different perspective. First, it's a move from the government to make peace with bloggers. Second, they want to put words in bloggers mouth, e.g. admiting that the government is now open and fair, like what they disastrously did to Raja Petra. Or finally, they just want to give us quality entertainment (Grill the Host) and increase the ratings of RTM.

Here is the link to the debut of this show:

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 1 of 4

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 2 of 4

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 3 of 4

Blog (RTM1) - Datuk A Kadir Jasin Part 4 of 4

A point to ponder

Last Wednesday, I got the chance to attend a political talk with my friend Rozairee. The topic of the talk was 'New Political Landscape: Challenges of the future'. The speakers were from PKR, Pas, and UMNO (Their names would not be shown due to certain purposes) . The talk or should I say forum was conducted in such a manner that the organisers has arranged the speakers to talk in order of PKR and Pas taking the offensive stance and the poor guy UMNO would go last taking the defensive stance. Inadvertently, this arrangement showed how far sighted the organisers were in ensuring that the audience would get a pretty much heated debate. Kudos to the organisers in respect to that.

However, even their far sighted arrangements couldn't provoke the speakers to wage an all out war and throw chairs at one another as they discussed each issue maturely and the tension in the room is almost nil. All that could be felt is the excitement as each and every one of them humorously ridiculed one another and surprisingly themselves. They were given 20-30 mins each and were followed by Q&A. Unfortunately, I had to leave early(11.20) as I had class the next morning. With this, I bring to you the summary of the talk and my own take of it.


PKR:

Introduced the concept of Old Politics vs New Media. Old Politics is when the government uses any means at its disposal to achieve its goals i.e. control on media, regulations and etc. New Media however is the emergence of alternative medias due to the partial stance taken by the so-called Mainstream Media i.e. blogs. He stressed, although old politics may be effective previously, with the presence of new media, it will become irrelevant. If a certain group is reluctant to change its ways, in other words stick to the method of old politics, it will definitely ends up like the Barisan Nasional in the recent general election. Malaysia is heading towards a dual party system.

Pas:

Described himself as party member who prefers working in the background rather than in the limelight, he showed to us what Pas is really all about. If you think that they are Islamist radicals who wear rolls of cloths as turbans and would do anything to form an Islamic Government while in the process alienate non-Muslims, then, sorry to say that you are absolutely wrong. He enlightened us that the Islamic State concept upholds freedom of speech, right of every human being and would be non discriminatory. Most of us fear this concept because we take the form(Islam State) over substance(good governance). Whereas the substance is the most important thing.

UMNO:

He admits that there are wrongdoings in UMNO in fact in his own division. Regarding the result of the general election, he stood by the notion like others in his league that the voters voted against Barisan Nasional(BN) and not for Pakatan Rakyat(PR). Although UMNO may be corrupted and perceived as irrelevant, he emphasised that UMNO is still relevant and crucial if there is to be a two party system. He will try with others that share his view to reform UMNO from the inside and assured all that UMNO will be here for the 50 years to come.


R.Iskandar:

This forum shows that individuals from different parties could sit down together and find a common ground for the benefit of the people. I call on those politicians in power out there to heed their colleagues here. The time for campaigning is over. It is now time to work together, not the time to sabotage one another. The federal government should give the 5 PR-led states the same treatment as the other states. Don't punish them because they deem you unfit of managing their states.

Top Ten: Languages Spoken In the World

10. French, Number of speakers: 129 million.Often called the most romantic language in the world, French is spoken in tons of countries, including Belgium, Canada, Rwanda, Cameroon, and Haiti. Oh, and France too. We're actually very lucky that French is so popular, because without it, we might have been stuck with Dutch Toast, Dutch Fries, and Dutch kissing (ew!).To say "hello" in French, say "Bonjour" (bone-JOOR).

9. Malay (Indonesian), Number of speakers: 159 million Malay-Indonesian is spoken - surprise - in Malaysia and Indonesia. Actually, we kinda fudged the numbers on this one because there are many dialects of Malay, the most popular of which is Indonesian. But they're all pretty much based on the same root language, which makes it the ninth most-spoken in the world.Indonesia is a fascinating place; a nation made up of over 13,000 islands it is the sixth most populated country in the world. Malaysia borders on two of the larger parts of Indonesia (including the island of Borneo), and is mostly known for its capital city of Kuala Lumpur.To say "hello" in Indonesian, say "Selamat pagi" (se-LA-maht PA-gee).

8. Portuguese, Number of speakers: 191 million. Think of Portuguese as the little language that could. In the 12th Century, Portugal won its independence from Spain and expanded all over the world with the help of its famous explorers like Vasco da Gama and Prince Henry the Navigator. (Good thing Henry became a navigator . . . could you imagine if a guy named "Prince Henry the Navigator" became a florist?) Because Portugal got in so early on the exploring game, the language established itself all over the world, especially in Brazil (where it's the national language), Macao, Angola, Venezuela, and Mozambique.To say "hello" in Portuguese, say "Bom dia" (bohn DEE-ah).

7. Bengali, Number of speakers: 211 million. In Bangladesh, a country of 120+ million people, just about everybody speaks Bengali. And because Bangladesh is virtually surrounded by India (where the population is growing so fast, just breathing the air can get you pregnant), the number of Bengali speakers in the world is much higher than most people would expect.To say "hello" in Bengali, say "Ei Je" (EYE-jay).

6. Arabic, Number of speakers: 246 million. Arabic, one of the world's oldest languages, is spoken in the Middle East, with speakers found in countries such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. Furthermore, because Arabic is the language of the Koran, millions of Muslims in other countries speak Arabic as well. So many people have a working knowledge of Arabic, in fact, that in 1974 it was made the sixth official language of the United Nations.To say "hello" in Arabic, say "Al salaam a'alaykum" (Ahl sah-LAHM ah ah-LAY-koom) .

5. Russian, Number of speakers: 277 million. Mikhail Gorbachev, Boris Yeltsin, and Yakov Smirnoff are among the millions of Russian speakers out there. Sure, we used to think of them as our Commie enemies. Now we think of them as our Commie friends. One of the six languages in the UN, Russian is spoken not only in the Mother Country, but also in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and the U.S. (to name just a few places).To say "hello" in Russian, say "Zdravstvuite" (ZDRAST-vet- yah).

4. Spanish, Number of speakers: 392 million. Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and Central American country, not to mention Spain, Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, including: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla, enchilada, and taco grande supreme.To say "hello" in Spanish, say "Hola" (OH-la).

3. Hindustani, Number of speakers: 497 million. Hindustani is the primary language of India's crowded population, and it encompasses a huge number of dialects (of which the most commonly spoken is Hindi). While many predict that the population of India will soon surpass that of China, the prominence of English in India prevents Hindustani from surpassing the most popular language in the world. If you're interested in learning a little Hindi, there's a very easy way: rent an Indian movie. The film industry in India is the most prolific in the world, making thousands of action/romance/ musicals every year.To say "hello" in Hindustani, say "Namaste" (Nah-MAH-stay) .

2. English, Number of speakers: 508 million. While English doesn't have the most speakers, it is the official language of more countries than any other language. Its speakers hail from all around the world, including the U.S., Australia, England, Zimbabwe, the Caribbean, Hong Kong, South Africa, and Canada. We'd tell you more about English, but you probably feel pretty comfortable with the language already. Let's just move on to the most popular language in the world.To say "hello" in English, say "What's up, freak?" (watz-UP-freek) .

1. Mandarin, Number of speakers: 1 billion+Surprise, surprise, the most widely spoken language on the planet is based in the most populated country on the planet, China. Beating second-place English by a 2 to 1 ratio, but don't let that lull you into thinking that Mandarin is easy to learn. Speaking Mandarin can be really tough, because each word can be pronounced in four ways (or "tones"), and a beginner will invariably have trouble distinguishing one tone from another. But if over a billion people could do it, so could you. Try saying hello!To say "hello" in Mandarin, say "Ni hao" (Nee HaOW). ("Hao" is pronounced as one syllable, but the tone requires that you let your voice drop midway, and then raise it again at the end.)

Check out my previous Top Ten posts here.

The One After OBW

As promised, I will bring to you guys an entire post regarding Old Boys Weekend 2008. If you are familiar with the adage a picture worth more than a thousand words, then you would understand why there's more photos in this post relative to the others. It's hard for me to describe the atmosphere, ambiance, camaraderie, and the reasons behind it but I hope the photos will give the right impression of the 3 day event. Before I forget, credits should be given to abdullah munzir mohd fauzi, from class of 98 for some of the wonderful photos.

A sight missed most by Old Boys.

The first banner that you would bump into if you walk to the school. Hmm...the design looks familiar.

Here's another banner. It's 2008 and it's the anniversary for class of 98,88,78,68,58.........

The librarians at the Library booth. Asking for contributions in the form of donations and books.Pak Cik Kamar is here as well. Sure adds a beautiful scent to the booth.

Pak Brahim(pronounce carefully) and the broadcasting guys, who supposedly keep the air lively with songs from the 90's,80's, 70's and 60's?

View of the stalls from Pavilion. Not as many as previous years.

Maybe the logic is, the lesser the competitions, the more profits that you will make.

Although it is 'Old Boys' weekend, I always see the present boys as the regular customers. What a way to make money from your friends.

This is also the time to brag about your new 'baby' to your friends. Just make sure it is not rented or borrowed

It looks like a showroom here. But something is missing.

Where are the models?

A broken/swollen nose doesn't seems to deter him from joining in the fun.

No one is too busy to come. Unless you are running the country or you have just been elected lah

If you can't see his shirt, let's take a closer look. Heard this before? From a lawyer maybe?

The Wind Orchestra's performance was spectacular. Received a standing ovation and truly deserved it. They will be competing in the finals of Wind Orchestra Competition (WOC) on the 21st of June.

Like always, the performance that follows was from the bands of present boys and old boys from different batches. Compared to previous present boys' performance, I could say that this year is the best. They even came out with their own original song. A feat that I have to complement.

Questions such as why do we bother to undergo this exodus to Kuala Kangsar every year or every other year might linger in the minds of some or even asked by some. The faces that we see at this gathering, if you observe like I do, are quite the same every year. These same people will come and reminisce the same thing, laughing at the same jokes year after year. As I am now in their shoes, I too feel the same attraction towards this institution and could finally arrive to a conclusion on why droves of ex-students wouldn't want to miss the chance to 'balik kuale' very year, the nearest examples, my father and I.

From my point of view, this event is a form of escapism of old boys alike. Away from the problems at work, deadlines to fulfil and bosses to please. Most importantly, away from the hustle and bustle of city life. The tranquility of KK itself is enough for someone to come back for more. These weekends, somehow, made the age factor not that distinguishable. To quote another old boy " Old Boys do not get old, only our bodies wear out". It's safe to say that we behaved how boys should behave. Apart from that, one might say that it is a weekend with endless possibilities, you could meet a a political figure, a celebrity, make new friends, build connections, rekindle old flames (ehem..ehem) or creating new ones. In short, whatever happens in kuale, stays in kuale .

The One Before OBW

This weekend, I'll be going to Kuala Kangsar for MCKK's Old Boys Weekend (OBW). To those who can't make it, fret not, there will be a post about it when I return. It won't be a full report though because I will only be there for Saturday and Sunday, missed Friday. Expect a few pictures and my comments, as usual. Those who dont have a clue on what OBW is, here is an excerpt from Malay College Old Boys Association (MCOBA) website :

The Old Boys’ Weekend, or OBW® for short, is an annual homecoming event for
the old boys of the Malay College Kuala Kangsar (MCKK). The weekend is
usually filled with games between the old boys and the students as well as
teachers of the College. There are also other activities such as a forum;
career talks; a dinner and musical show; and other fares. The old boys
enjoyed the weekend (without their families) and re-lived their experiences
during the school days years ago. They played their favourite games, eat
at their favourite joints, stayed at the old dormitories, and passed their times
by telling old stories of their escapades during their times in College.
Those who have been to the OBW® will usually look forward to go to the next
one!