What is 'Ketuanan Melayu'?

Lately, a lot has been said about Ketuanan Melayu (Malay Supremacy). Albeit all these 'discussions' on the subject, I have yet to comprehend the concept. Are Malays born Superior? Are there different statuses of human beings? Who was the first to coin this concept? Right now 1001 questions linger in my mind and none of them has what I would call an appropriate answer.

Therefore I invite all of you, whether you are the proponent or the opponent of this controversial concept, to share your opinions at the comment section. Any facts or opinion regarding the issue are welcomed. Hopefully, with the input that you gave me, I will arrive at an informed conclusion and will be able to blog my stand on the matter.

Meanwhile, I'll be going overseas in an attempt to stimulate the world economy for 10 days :)

Keep it coming, I will post my reply when I reach home.

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Happy Merdeka Day. For this auspicious day, I present to you the poem that we recited during Malam Gemilang in Canberra. Videos will be uploaded soon.

A Letter From Tunku

(Haymini)

Once there was this dream I had,

It made me smile, I felt so glad,

I received a letter from someone familiar,

None other than Tunku, our first Prime Minister.

Tunku as as they say was a man of laughter,

He solves his problems, big or small, full of composure,

As I began to read his letter,

It came to my realization, the things that mattered.

(Siang Hang)

Dear Malaysian,

It has been 52 years since we lowered the ‘Union Jack’

It has been 52 years since we introduced ‘merah, putih, kuning dan biru’

It has been 52 years since the debut of ‘Negaraku’

It has been 52 years since I proclaimed “Merdeka”

Tell me, dear citizen of this privileged land,

Is everything going according to plan?

Is my Malaysia a country for all?

A land that provides shelter,

A land that offers a bright future.

Tell me, what has become of my country, Malaysia?

Do we stand tall among others?

Giving a hand to those in need,

And defend the powerless from becoming a victim of greed.

Tell me more about Malaysia,

Share with me a thing or two,

About the people, about the culture

Are we still living in harmony?

Tell me about my successors,

Describe to me their legacies,

Do they show compassion?

Do they show respect?

And not forgetting humility.

Tell me something, most importantly,

A country so young with many years to come,

A destination so far with burdens to bear,

Will the path that we chose, lead us there?

Yours sincerely,

Tunku.

(Haymini)

He penned his words so graciously,

A show of concern to his posterity,

I intended my reply to be short and sweet,

But in turned out as one full sheet.

(Iskandar)

Dear Tunku,

We have gone far, since the early days,

Mountains with the highest peak, we have conquered,

The earth with all its seven seas, we have crossed,

Oceans with all its depths, we have explored,

Stars that seem so far, we have reached.

At a time, we had the tallest structure,

But soon after, even taller ones emerged,

“Never mind” were the words of Dr. M.

“We still have the tallest twin towers”

All of those may seem superficial,

Missing some substance, lacking some essence.

Perhaps this is more significant,

We have established a common platform,

Where freedom of speech is upheld

Where great minds debate policies,

Where issues that are dear to our hearts are discussed,

Let me introduce you this special place called the mamak stall.

From “Should we teach math and science in English?”

To “Did Malaysia thrash Man U last night?”

Nothing is left untouched.

Besides that,

Here, Malaysia’s most unique cuisines are created,

Roti Planta, Mee Goreng Mamak, Nasi Lemak.

After 52 years,

We have finally found, the recipe to unity,

DOTA,

Nothing spells unity and integration

More than a weekly Dota session

Dear Tunku,

To the question

Whether I think that I’m in the right path,

My answer to you is

Yes, I do,

Because when I look around, I don’t see strangers

I see brothers, sisters, Malaysians,

Yours truly,

A proud Malaysian.

(Haymini)

Bangunlah rakyat Malaysia,

Sambutlah tangan saudara-saudaramu

Adanya mereka, kita tidak perlu gentar

Kerana bersama mereka, kita kan berjaya.

(Siang Hang)

Masa depan itu, mereka kata misteri,

Pahitkah? Maniskah? Hanya esok kita tahu,

Apa yang pasti perjalanan in harus kita teruskan,

Tapi bolehkah kita lakukan seorang diri?

(Iskandar)

Masa depan itu, mereka kata misteri,

Pahitkah? Maniskah? Hanya esok kita tahu,

Apa yang pasti perjalanan in harus kita teruskan,

Tapi bolehkah kita lakukan seorang diri?

Merdeka! (Iskandar)

Merdeka! (Siang Hang)

Merdeka! (Haymini)

Race to Istana Negara

Aug 1 -Heavily influenced by reality shows like the Amazing Race and such, Malaysia hopped on the bandwagon and organised its own program, ‘Race to Istana Negara’. Unlike the Amazing Race, contestants are not expected to run around in circles navigating themselves and cross the globe to search for clues. Instead, the routes are laid out for them and they are not required to run the distance as of a marathon.

A piece of cake you say? Here’s the catch. To add more excitement, the police were stationed at strategic places as obstacles and roadblocks for the participants. Sources informed that the cops have equipped themselves with tear gas and water canon for this event. This, however, did not discourage the participation of more than 30000 people. Due to the overwhelming response, the organisers divided them into two teams, Pro-ISA and Anti-ISA. Each wearing white and red t-shirts respectively. Participants were to work in teams, and the team that reached the finish line the fastest wins.

There are three possible outcomes awaiting the participants. The first is reaching the finish line, which is Istana Negara (National Palace). Second is stumbling to a roadblock midway which will lead them straight to jail (kind of reminds you of monopoly isn’t it?). The third is you can opt to exit the race by diverting from the route.

As the final tally showed, only 1 person managed to reach the finish line (Pro-ISA), more than 400 were sent to jail (Anti-ISA) and the others decided to call it a day(mostly Anti-ISA). Even though the participant from Pro-ISA finished the race thus claiming victory for his team, participants from Anti-ISA claimed there is preferential treatment towards this individual and should be disqualified for it. Consequently, the Anti-ISA claimed that they are the real winners of the day. Below are their reactions.

The man who reached the finish line: I wore the pro-ISA T-shirt underneath a Visit Malaysia T-shirt, to avoid being noticed by the authorities.

Pro-ISA: We won since we reached the palace and given the memo to the palace.

Anti-ISA: Victory is ours. The world has known our struggle.

Barisan Nasional: This race is a waste of time and public funds. This is all PR's doing. The security of the country is under threat.

Pakatan Rakyat: What security threat? It is our democratic right to do so.

Agong: What Race????

Guest Blogger: Of Big Mac and Teh Tarik

This written by my close friend, R Droto, who happens to be this month's Guest Blogger. You can read more of his writings here.


By R Droto

"I'm lovin' it"

Where in the world is peace? Well, it lies in your hand, for Goodness' sake! Flat out your hand, no, your fingers until you clearly see your palm. Then, close your thumb, ring finger and your pinkie. And there you go, PEACE - grinning until you see your glistening teeth in front of the mirror, water or its equivalent. Indeed, peace is actually in your hand. You are the one who would call the shot!

Remember a clown with a curly reddish hair and one-foot long shoes with circular shape at the edge? He also wears red and white stripes t-shirt. You must have noticed this guy if you like to eat strawberry Sundae and Big Mac burger. If you don't, I bet you are always using the drive-thru.

It is confusing. It truly is. Undoubtedly, people are starting to detest the regime for their merciless massacre in a land which they unwaveringly claim theirs. Historically speaking, the land was occupied by Arabs (Muslims, Christians and whatnot) for thousands of years, after which there were lots of conflicts that culminated in wars.

I know, I know, people are now hoping to get lowest possible prices for teh tarik, hence, price war breaks out. It's a good thing though to have a war like this. That shows how perfectly competitive teh tarik stalls are. Yeah, how ironic!

Not surprisingly, there are also some who couldn't be bothered by the situation in Gaza. Why? Let's see whether or not their all-time favourite fast food is still the aforementioned. Some might go straight off saying that the global economy is experiencing its recession, much to the extent that the situation may be worse off in a few months time. Hence, boycotting their Big Macs wouldn’t do any good to the global economy.

Fingers crossed, no more 1930s Great Depression. It could, however be justified if the economy is bent on agonizing people of all walks. Try to switch from Conventional Financial System to Islamic Financial System. Chances are, no one would be cast aside. Everyone is entitled to equal rights regardless of their status and social classes. Justified? Give it a shot then.

Granted, young children are being slaughtered in Gaza City, granted, the US doesn't give it a damn, instead it continues supplying military aid to the violent regime, granted people are still having starbucks coffee, granted president-elect Obama keeps quiet, granted, teh tarik dah kurang manis - though good for health.

Seeing children with limbs being torn off is so emotionally poignant. If only I were UAE's prime minister, if only I were the Iranian president, if only I were Barack Obama - I would have done whatever I could to put a halt to the massacre - OR technically called the genocide.

The root-beer (or Coca-cola for that matter) of the problem is none other than the extremists. Well, extremists being extremists. Nothing matters other than their own ideology with which they vow to do whatever it takes to disseminate. Dealing with them is a hell of a chore. Negotiation? This will do any good so long as both sides of the aisle unanimously abide by the resolution. Yeah, Strawberry Sundae will, at the end of the day, melt (if not being eaten instantly).

An old friend of mine was fervently advocating the military means by Israel as a tool to wipe out the entire Hamas population. Like an old man finishing off his last drops of teh tarik, but in a more subtle way. Infamous weapons like those of chemical are deployed to subtly obliterate the population; like a child licking the remaining BBQ sauce on the burger cover. What he believes - which is also what I believe, is that, there are always two sides of the story. One is right while another is wrong - or else, both are wrong which is presumably due to their selfish and baseless ideologies.

One wonders, the UN calls for a ceasefire was not being entertained. So, what’s the use of having a UN? What’s the use of coffee if it's not for Starbucks, The Coffee Beans and the like? Well, if we look back retrospectively, never once did Israel give a damn to UN's demand, let alone OIC's, let alone Middle-east countries, let alone South-east Asia's OR even Malaysia, for that matter! As written by a renowned scholar, 14 millions Jews in the world can actually outlast peoples from the other side of the divide. They have, indeed, done wonders for the world whilst others are still crawling to find the meaning of life - or kowtowing to the demands of these so-called economic-super-powerful people.

Speaking about economy, in Malaysia for instance, Pak Lah's heir-apparent has been very wary in facing the impending calamity of financial turmoil – which will come ashore at any time. After assuming the Finance Ministry Office, he comes out with RM7b stimulus package, which can, in a way or another, avert Malaysia from plunging into depression in the near future. It’s like a rose-coloured vision of a young country, isn’t it? Hope it isn't going to be just another bailout-er. Hence, more Teh Tarik stalls can be built by the ranks offering obscenely low prices for the combo tarik-and-roti-canai-kosong (AKA value meal)!

Now, I'm REALLY lovin' it!


Glossary
The tarik : An all-time favourite beverage by most Malaysians during breakfast. Made from tea and milk.


R Droto tries very hard to be sarcastic, but to no avail. He is committed to getting pleasure in writing which has become his favourite pastime since 2007. Will be pursuing his first degree in Commerce in Melbourne next month, he hopes to find comfort in getting his messages crossed.

The Humiliation of America

By PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS

“Early Friday morning the secretary of state was considering bringing the
cease-fire resolution to a UNSC vote and we didn’t want her to vote for it,”
Olmert said. “I said ‘get President Bush on the phone.’ They tried and told me
he was in the middle of a lecture in Philadelphia. I said ‘I’m not interested, I
need to speak to him now.’ He got down from the podium, went out and took the
phone call.”

"Let me see if I understand this,” wrote a friend in response to news reports that Israeli Prime Minister Olmert ordered President Bush from the podium where he was giving a speech to receive Israel’s instructions about how the United States had to vote on the UN resolution. “On September 11th, President Bush is interrupted while reading a story to school children and told the World Trade Center had been hit--and he went on reading. Now, Olmert calls about a UN resolution when Bush is giving a speech and Bush leaves the stage to take the call. There exists no greater example of a master-servant relationship.”

Olmert gloated as he told Israelis how he had shamed US Secretary of State Condi Rice by preventing the American Secretary of State from supporting a resolution that she had helped to craft. Olmert proudly related how he had interrupted President Bush’s speech in order to give Bush his marching orders on the UN vote.

Israeli politicians have been bragging for decades about the control they exercise over the US government. In his final press conference, President Bush, deluded to the very end, said that the whole world respects America. In fact, when the world looks at America, what it sees is an Israeli colony.

Responding to mounting reports from the Red Cross and human rights organizations of Israel’s massive war crimes in Gaza, the United Nations Human Rights Council voted 33-1 on January 12 to condemn Israel for grave offenses against human rights.

On January 13, the London Times reported that Israelis have gathered on a hillside overlooking Gaza to enjoy the slaughter of Palestinians in what the Times calls “the ultimate spectator sport.”

It is American supplied F-16 fighter jets, helicopter gunships, missiles, and bombs that are destroying the civilian infrastructure of Gaza and murdering the Palestinians who have been packed into the tiny strip of land. What is happening to the Palestinians herded into the Gaza Ghetto is happening because of American money and weapons. It is just as much an attack by the United States as an attack by Israel. The US government is complicit in the war crimes.

Yet in his farewell press conference on January 12, Bush said that the world respects America for its compassion.

The compassion of bombing a UN school for girls?
The compassion of herding 100 Palestinians into one house and then shelling it?
The compassion of bombing hospitals and mosques?
The compassion of depriving 1.5 million Palestinians of food, medicine, and energy?
The compassion of violently overthrowing the democratically elected Hamas government?
The compassion of blowing up the infrastructure of one of the poorest and most deprived people on earth?
The compassion of abstaining from a Security Council vote condemning these actions?

And this is a repeat of what the Israelis and Americans did to Lebanon in 2006, what the Americans did to Iraqis for six years and are continuing to do to Afghans after seven years. And still hope to do to the Iranians and Syrians.

In 2002 I designated George W. Bush “the White House Moron.” If there ever was any doubt about this designation, Bush’s final press conference dispelled it.

Bush talked about connecting the dots, but Bush has failed to connect any dots for eight solid years. “Our” president was a puppet for a cabal led by Dick Cheney and a handful of Jewish neoconservatives, who took control of the Pentagon, the State Department, the National Security Council, the CIA, and “Homeland Security.” From these power positions, the neocon cabal used lies and deception to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, pointless wars that have cost Americans $3 trillion, while millions of Americans lose their jobs, their pensions, and their access to health care.

“These obviously very difficult economic times,” Bush said in his press conference, “started before my presidency.”

Bush has plenty of liberal company in failing to connect a $3 trillion dollar war with hard times. The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities blames Bush’s tax cut, not the wars, for “the fiscal deterioration.”

Bush told the White House Press Corps, a useless collection of non-journalists, that the two mistakes of his invasion of Iraq were: (1) Putting up the “mission accomplished” banner on the aircraft carrier, which, he said, “sent the wrong message,” and (2) the absence of the alleged weapons of mass destruction that he used to justify the invasion.

Although Bush now admits that there were not any such weapons in Iraq, Bush said that the invasion was still the right thing to do.

The deaths of 1.25 million Iraqis, the displacement of 4 million Iraqis, and the destruction of a country’s infrastructure and economy are merely the collateral damage associated with “bringing freedom and democracy” to the Middle East.

Unless George W. Bush is the best actor in human history, he truly believes what he told the White House Press Corps.What Bush did not explain is how America is respected when its people put a moron in charge for eight years.

Paul Craig Roberts was Assistant Secretary of the Treasury in the Reagan administration. He is coauthor of The Tyranny of Good Intentions.He can be reached at: PaulCraigRoberts@yahoo.com

What You Don’t Know About Gaza

It came to a surprise to me that my earlier post didn't get the positive response that I hoped for. Well I guess we all look at things differently. You from one angle and I, from another. Maybe we don't see eye to eye on certain issues but let us argue on the basis of facts. Let me clarify that I am not anti-Semitic, I am only an ordinary person who advocates the notion that every human should be treated with respect especially if they are mere civillians.

1st comment:

"Where was this cartoonist's outrage when for years the Israelis were being
bombed by Hamas?Palestinians have been known to never miss an opportunity to
miss an opportunity. Looks like they've missed yet another. If they're
serious
about wanting peace, they should sack Hamas and their terrorist ways
and begin
real negotiations."

2nd comment:

"You can't reason with idiots. Israel has gained nothing by allowing the wild
asses to have their own land. Hamas won't rest until Israel is gone. What would
a reasonable person do if he is constantly under bombardment by meat heads that
want nothing but his destruction The only peaceful Hamas is a dead Hamas. The
person who allows innocents into a place where he is firing rockets from, is the
killer of the innocent. Wake up stupid Americans. BTW I'm not Jewish."

3rd comment:

"The State of Israel was created by the United Nations in 1948. It is a
legitimate sovereign state. And as a state it has the right to defend itself.
Hamas was firing rockets at innocent Israeli civilians, so after plenty of
warning that Hamas had to stop the attacks, Israel was finally forced into this
defensive action.And to those who maintain that diplomacy had failed so Hamas
had no choice but to carry out these unprovoked attacks, you are dead wrong.
Israel has been in negotiations for years, and has made peace with both Egypt
and Jordan. But Hamas in it's charter calls for the utter destruction of Israel.
If Hamas had it's way it would murder each and every Israeli. So how can Israel
negotiate with a terrorist organization that wants to destroy it?If Hamas would
only stop the rocket attacks and acknowledge Israel's right to exist, then there
could be peace.The blood from the civilian casualties in Gaza is on the hands of
Hamas, not Israel."

Here are a few facts taken from the New York Times itself. I think it's quite a legitimate source to support my stand in the previous post.

What You Don’t Know About Gaza

By RASHID KHALIDI
Published: January 7, 2009

NEARLY everything you’ve been led to believe about Gaza is wrong. Below are a few essential points that seem to be missing from the conversation, much of which has taken place in the press, about Israel’s attack on the Gaza Strip.

THE GAZANS Most of the people living in Gaza are not there by choice. The majority of the 1.5 million people crammed into the roughly 140 square miles of the Gaza Strip belong to families that came from towns and villages outside Gaza like Ashkelon and Beersheba. They were driven to Gaza by the Israeli Army in 1948.

THE OCCUPATION The Gazans have lived under Israeli occupation since the Six-Day War in 1967. Israel is still widely considered to be an occupying power, even though it removed its troops and settlers from the strip in 2005. Israel still controls access to the area, imports and exports, and the movement of people in and out. Israel has control over Gaza’s air space and sea coast, and its forces enter the area at will. As the occupying power, Israel has the responsibility under the Fourth Geneva Convention to see to the welfare of the civilian population of the Gaza Strip.

THE BLOCKADE Israel’s blockade of the strip, with the support of the United States and the European Union, has grown increasingly stringent since Hamas won the Palestinian Legislative Council elections in January 2006. Fuel, electricity, imports, exports and the movement of people in and out of the Strip have been slowly choked off, leading to life-threatening problems of sanitation, health, water supply and transportation.

The blockade has subjected many to unemployment, penury and malnutrition. This amounts to the collective punishment — with the tacit support of the United States — of a civilian population for exercising its democratic rights.

THE CEASE-FIRE Lifting the blockade, along with a cessation of rocket fire, was one of the key terms of the June cease-fire between Israel and Hamas. This accord led to a reduction in rockets fired from Gaza from hundreds in May and June to a total of less than 20 in the subsequent four months (according to Israeli government figures). The cease-fire broke down when Israeli forces launched major air and ground attacks in early November; six Hamas operatives were reported killed.

WAR CRIMES The targeting of civilians, whether by Hamas or by Israel, is potentially a war crime. Every human life is precious. But the numbers speak for themselves: Nearly 700 Palestinians, most of them civilians, have been killed since the conflict broke out at the end of last year. In contrast, there have been around a dozen Israelis killed, many of them soldiers. Negotiation is a much more effective way to deal with rockets and other forms of violence. This might have been able to happen had Israel fulfilled the terms of the June cease-fire and lifted its blockade of the Gaza Strip.

This war on the people of Gaza isn’t really about rockets. Nor is it about “restoring Israel’s deterrence,” as the Israeli press might have you believe. Far more revealing are the words of Moshe Yaalon, then the Israeli Defense Forces chief of staff, in 2002: “The Palestinians must be made to understand in the deepest recesses of their consciousness that they are a defeated people.”

Rashid Khalidi, a professor of Arab studies at Columbia, is the author of the forthcoming “Sowing Crisis: The Cold War and American Dominance in the Middle East."

The real situation....

Brazilian cartoonist Carlos Latuff creates artworks that call on the world to condemn Israeli holocaust of Gaza Nepos Libertas's blog

Carlos Latuff's statement: I'd like to beg all viewers to spread this image anywhere, as a way to expose Israeli war crimes against Palestinians. Use it on t-shirts, posters, banners. Reproduce it in zines, papers, magazines, and make it visible everywhere. Here is the high-resolution version for printing purposes: [ link ] Thank you in the name of every suffering Palestinian.

Pay it Forward

How do you change the world? No, it doesn't involve saving any cheerleaders or supermodels. You have to do it one step at a time. And initiating the first step is above all the most challenging and difficult part. You would probably wondering why I am talking like 'Peter Petrelli' all of a sudden, all optimistic for a better and brighter tomorrow.

Well, let me introduce you to a concept that I just learned, Pay it Forward . I got this from watching a movie on Astro with the same title. Like most inspirational movies this one originated from a novel.

It started as a Social Studies extra credit project of a 7th Grader and turns out as a movement throughout America that touches and change thousands of lives. They call it the Pay it Forward Movement. The concept is quite simple. It is one that any person can implement in his or her own life, at any time. It begins with doing a favour for another person without any expectation of being paid back. Indeed one would request that the recipient of that favour do the same for someone else: ideally for three other people. The unconditional favors can be large or small. As Trevor(the boy) observes: it doesn't have to be a big thing. It can just seem that way, depending on whom you do it for.

It is like another form of pyramid scheme, minus the fraud. The most important thing is that it shows that you don't have to be rich like Oprah to be able to change lives. Start small.

If you're still not convinced that this might work or curious on the details visit http://www.payitforwardfoundation.org/ . Maybe it's time for Malaysia to embrace it. Other countries have done it. What are we waiting for?

Then, perhaps in the future you'll stumble upon someone in distress and help them. When he/she asks what you want in return. You'll just say Pay it Forward.

How it all began

Wondering how the credit crisis starts? Watch this video to get a simple idea of it.

Top Ten: Reasons To School Them In English

Below are examples of how many of us speak English today. Taken from The Malaysian Today. Out of 100, I chose only 10. They are all true cases.

10. In a hotel a girl calls out to her friends: "Come lets jump into the poo(pool)"

9. A student writing an essay on how to bake a cake,
After all the ingredients are poured in the bowl, DISTURB (stir) the mixture....

8. At a job interview:
Q: You have a long name. So how do I address you?
A: I live in Gombak Setia sir.

7. Another essay by a student: "He suffer from low SELF OF STEAM (self-esteem)"

6. Overheard at a coffeeshop:
"No, I don't want iced lemon tea. I want teh-o-ais-limau."

5. An article by a journalism student in a local university:
"The man died after the post mortem."

4. During a war scene in a movie, a soldier tells his men to run for cover and screams "duck!". The subtitles read: "ITIK!"

3. A part time worker at a concert hall needs to stamp the wrists of patrons going out for a break. She says: "Excuse me sir, can I chop your hand"

2. "Wait later I call you on my CELLULITE phone (cellular phone)"

1. Interview between an airline company and a flight attendant wannabe.
Q: What do you know about flight safety procedures?
A: Passengers must leave their belongigs during EJACULATION (evacuation)

Check out other Top Tens

Ex-ST reporter to publish 'frank' book on Malaysia

SINGAPORE, Sept 17 - As Malaysia continues to grapple with political troubles, a former Straits Times reporter is throwing a few more stories into the mix. Former senior correspondent Ismail Kassim, 65, who was the paper's first Kuala Lumpur correspondent, is publishing a book about his experiences in the country that he says is -frank-.

The 314-page -A Reporter's Memoir: No Hard Feelings-, which he will launch in late October, covers his experiences as a reporter in Malaysia and also includes his thoughts about what he says are sensitive topics.

-Nothing is sacred. I have expressed my views clearly on all issues from race relations to faith and religion and political differences between Singapore and Malaysia,- he said.

-Whether I write about my boyish escapades or my tribulations over faith or my recollections of Lee Kuan Yew, Goh Chok Tong, Mahathir, Anwar, Pak Lah, Najib and others, I have adopted the same irreverent approach and the same nonchalant brush,- he added, referring to top leaders past and present in Malaysia and Singapore.

Having -stepped on many toes-, however, he felt he had to say -no hard feelings- to all of them - hence the title. -This is my way of reminding all of those mentioned in the narrative not to take things to heart,- he said.

The book documents Ismail's life as a former teacher, soldier, reporter and unionist, with about a third of it dwelling on his 15 years in Kuala Lumpur providing Singaporeans with first-hand coverage of politics across the Causeway.

Now a retiree, Ismail had spent more than a year putting the book together -primarily to entertain himself, his friends and former fans-.

-A Reporter's Memoir: No Hard Feelings- will be launched at the end of October at the National Library.

Related Posts:

Bloggers are individuals
Weekend Debut
Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things

Road to 16 Sept

Expressing as such only strengthens the notion and giving the perception that even the government doesn’t have faith in our legal system.

Some dismiss it as a baseless rumour 'to create uncertainty in this country' while some affirmed that everything is going according to plan and the plan will materialise as the right time comes (may not be exactly 16 Sept after all). As we get closer to the D-day itself, Malaysians are watching from the sidelines as the politicians from both sides show off their theatrics. First, the cat and mouse chase to Taiwan. Now, the crackdown on activists.

For one 'baseless rumour', the government sure are going to great lengths to thwart it. Even though this motive was denied, who are they to kid us? The desperation of the BN government is as vivid as an ink stain on a white shirt. It just can't be washed off with the water of denial. With the anticipated day looming, the BN should start to admit that that the threats are real and seriously begin their much talked about reform.

Yes, reform. The word that has been frequently used since BN suffered their most embarrassing defeat in the 8th March general election. Ironically, all their proposed efforts of reforming be it through more freedom of expression or transparency and rule of law have gone down the drain with the recent ISA blitz of prominent blogger-Raja Petra Kamarudin, MP-Teresa Kok and a reporter- Tan Hoon Cheng (which was released 20hrs after her arrest due to immense public pressure).

The excuse of using this draconian law in favour of our national security is preposterous. Expressing as such only strengthens the notion and giving the perception that even the government doesn’t have faith in our legal system. And in politics, perception is everything. If the government has no confidence in the judicial process, how could we, the less significant, place our confidence in the similar process?

Perhaps it is true; things will get a whole lot worse before it can get any better. To borrow a quote from the movie The Dark Night, “The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.” Whether the dawn is on the 16th or any other date is another matter. It’s coming.

P.S. My friends ask me if I support the crossovers. I can only answer, "Let them (politicians) do whatever they want. When they are really ready to govern, then you tell me." -NHF

Related posts:

Roadblocks Anyone?
Of Murder and Sodomy
Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things

Top Ten: Signs You Are Approaching a By-election

10. Some groups take to the streets to protest against a concert by a foreign artist.

9. Certain group of supporters launch an event “Beat The Journalist”

8. Muslims spend a lot more time at the mosques, for the ceramah and free praying mat.

7. Every eligible voter is RM300 richer.

6. Bus tickets to the constituency are sold out.

5. Petrol price decreased a few days before.

4. The MB announces that there will be a public holiday for the state.

3. Somebody got sodomized.

2. No ‘real’ news in the newspaper.

1. Someone with the name ‘Arif Shah’ or ‘Anwar’ knocks on you front door.

Check out other Top Tens

Unhappy ending

Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.
1st ghost : How u died?

2nd ghost : I died of cold.

1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?

2nd ghost : Actually, I was imprisoned in the refrigerator. Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died. Fortunately, I died with not much sufferings.

1st ghost : You're so pityful....

2nd ghost : How about you? How did u die?

1st ghost : I died from heart attack.

2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?

1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man. One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone. I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing. Because I was too tired of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.

2nd ghost : Why didn't you look for the bastard in the fridge? If you did, both of us would be alive now!!

Top Ten: Signs Pak Lah Has Too Much Time On His Hands

10. Spends most of the day looking for friends on Facebook.

9. Stops by Najib's office every five minutes to see if he's doing his work.

8. He goes from home to home campaigning in Permatang Pauh.

7. Sits in front of Sri Perdana and waves at cars.

6. The man has the whole set of 'FRIENDS' in his office.

5. Gives the Putrajaya lake boat tour.

4. Earlier today, he washed and waxed Prime Minister's personal jet.

3. Writes an article for Malaysiakini and Malaysia Today.

2. Takes part in the Beijing Olympics.

1. Finally catching up on unread intelligence memos.

Check out other Top Tens

Roadblocks Anyone?

The area that was cordoned off was so big that if there were any mamak stalls nearby, they could even have their meals there complete with tables and umbrellas.

Forget about blogs for now. Roadblocks are the new 'in' thing. If we used to ask why blog? Now we would be asking why roadblock? When we're done with that question, a few other passes our mind. Do we have excessive roads that we need a few of them blocked? By blocking a few roads, will it reduce costs in line with the current cost cutting stance of the government? Why build the road in the first place if you want to block it?

After asking these questions, one thing is for sure. If the government thinks that blogs are a nuisance then it is fair to say that the people, however, think that roadblocks are a bigger nuisance. The people blogs to irritate the government. The government block roads to irritate the people. Fair enough. Why compare these two things; blogs and (road)blocks? Well, because they sound almost the same. That's all.

Now that we have established that roadblocks are indeed undesirable, why is it still here? They are occasionally put along the roads heading towards the city centre on certain days and once in a while could even span to the whole country. It's like the authorities talking among themselves "Hey, I just got a raise. Let's have mass roadblocks to commemorate this lucky day". Maybe we could also include this in our 'Tahun Melawat Malaysia' campaign, "Experience traffic jam like never before, only in Malaysia".

Obviously they are not smart enough to do that. They usually justify this ineffective and inefficient exercise of channelling resources which is most of them are taxpayers' money as a necessary evil. No matter how inconvenient it may be, it is done for the sake of this glorious nation's security and prosperity and......... (a few other reasons to make us feel good). The most recent excuse is 'to avoid any untoward incidents'. Let me tell you something, the roadblocks are the untoward incidents.

Fine, if our security and the peace of the country is their argument, lets examine the effectiveness of this method. Roadblocks, as we frequently watch on television might have its advantages if we are searching for a suspect of crime or terrorist like osama laden, mas selamat, corrupted officials trying to leave the country and people smuggling oil to the neighbouring countries. However, in any case of a demonstration, is it logical to construct a roadblock(other than the venue of the demo) especially on the stretch of an already busy highway?

Do they expect that they could identify every protester and stop them by the roadside? Based on my few experiences of participating in this every-other-day event, the police would just make the otherwise 3 lane highway into just one lane or two. Next they would stand there until their time is up and then pack up to resume their real jobs which is preventing crime. The area that was cordoned off was so big that if there were any mamak stalls nearby, they could even have their meals there complete with tables and umbrellas.

Just imagine, while we are stuck in the barely crawling traffic jam caused by the roadblock, we heard a policeman shouting from a distance "Mamak, roti telur satu.", "Siaaap"-NHF

Chopping down the cherry tree - M'sian political version

By Vijay Kumar Murugavell

I remember a story told to me by my late father regarding telling the truth and facing the consequences. It has been a story told by many a father to his offspring.I am of the conviction that the truth is not always a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and many of us miss the point when it comes to taking decisive action. Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. The story goes that George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe. His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth:‘I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.’

Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question:

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - ‘I did not cut down the tree , I was just taking a nap underneath it.’

Najib Razak - ‘I swear that I have never MET that tree.’

Hishamuddin Hussein Onn- ‘...but I only own a keris ,not axe, how to cut down the tree?’

Dr Mahathir Mohamd - ‘Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.’

Chua Soi Lek - ‘Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.’

VK Lingam - ‘It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think its me.’

Anwar Ibrahim - ‘I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.’

Mohd Khir Toyo - ‘The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.’

Ahmad Said (Terengganu MB) - ‘I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.’

Azalina Othman - ‘The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down and besides there were unauthorised signboards put up around the tree.’

Shabery Cheek - ‘I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.’

S Samy Velu - ‘I chopped it because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.

Wira Ali Rustam - ‘We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees , pear trees and all these other foreign trees.’

Rais Yatim - ‘You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustam said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.’

Sharir Samad - ‘I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.’

Karpal Singh - ‘The bigfoot creature did it.’

Bung Mokhtar - ‘The big monkey did it’

Pandikar Amin Mulia - ‘There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry treesKinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk .

Khairy Jamaluddin - I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?’

Lim Kit Siang - ‘Cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford!’

Nazri Abdul Aziz - ‘Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now...’

Malaysian Citizens - ‘Oh for heavens sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death!’

Related posts:

Laugh Out Loud
Top Ten: Police Quotes

Expired DNA

Excerpts from Malaysian Insider:

Putrajaya, July 18 — Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi joined the chorus of
ministers and government officials urging Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim to give a sample for a DNA test and prove his innocence.
“If he insists that he is not involved, he should give the sample now and we will see the results as proof,” said the Prime Minister. He noted that police want to complete their investigations as soon as possible but was unable to do so because of Anwar's unwillingness to give a blood sample for a DNA test.The opposition leader has refused to entertain any request for blood samples, saying that he believed that the police would fabricate evidence against. Instead, he suggested that police rely on DNA which was extracted during the investigations into sodomy charges ten years ago.But Abdullah said:
“The DNA sample the authorities have is too old, so they need a new sample, what is wrong in giving?” Speaking to reporters today, he also dismissed talk that the accusation by a former aide against Anwar was part of a political conspiracy. But he conceded that he could not stop the international media from floating the idea of a conspiracy.“Actually what they are accusing us of is not right at all,” he said, adding that he had given his assurance to Parti Keadilan Rakyat president Datuk Seri Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail and its vice-president Azmin Ali that the investigation would be conducted professionally.“I can give the
assurance. Even his wife met me for a guarantee that a repeat of the earlier
‘black eye incident’ would not happen.

YB Azmin asked for an assurance and I said he (Anwar) will be safe and that we will investigate according to the provisions of the law,” he said.Meanwhile in Kota Baru, Kelantan Mentri Besar Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat criticised the media for going overboard in their coverage of the sodomy allegations against Anwar. He was upset with the wall to wall coverage
in newspapers and wanted to know why his arrest was front page news but his
release was relegated to the inside pages.“Why must the media take pride in shaming him? Anwar is a human being and not an angel or devil. He is a Malay Muslim so I ask why must there be a concerted effort to shame him in the front pages of the media,” he said in his weekly sermon here Friday.

It seems that our beloved PM has little knowledge when it comes to medical related stuff. DNA samples becoming obsolete? Do we really need the sample whereas the pattern of his DNA should already be within the Police's database? Can we conclude that maybe the previous sample is no longer in their possession? Poured on some mattress maybe?

When it comes to explaining the scientific procedures, I would prefer some expert to do the talking. Not someone who listens halfway and sleeps halfway into the explanation. If I didn't know any better I would mistakenly interpret Pak Lah's statement as follow:

"The DNA has expired, we have long exceed its expiry date, there are also concerns that the DNA could have changed (evolution) over the years"

But thank god he didn't really say that. Where would he hide his face?

Top Ten: Police Quotes

These 10 were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

8. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

7. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

6. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

5. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'

4. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

3. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't...Sign here.'

Click here for other Top Tens

Flip Flop Plunder

When he said its another two years of reign
It drove into my spine a sharp piercing pain
But its sure worse for the idiot in-waiting
Not to mention Imelda the wife, the queen of shopping

Now that PKR and friends are deep into the game
Not witch hunting but digging their dirt all the same
With Altantuya, the jet and submarine scandals
Nothing the two could do with such a hefty load to handle

What about the punks in Umno who are out for the post
Or those in the know who want covered dirt exposed
Even Pak Lah the flip flop may want him chopped
Like a slow released time bomb waiting to be dropped

Would the nation again believe the same poor liwat script?
With the faggot P.A. getting his behind whipped?
For he could just kick Anwar's 'forefront'
If Anwar really did, and he did'nt really want

The stupid moron must really be a sick spent homo
For he could have advanced but Anwar said No
If it worked, he could've enjoyed a two-in-one hole
One for the script writer, and the other for his gayish soul

Hey is it really that easy to see that 'mighty menteri'?
Just pop in, knock the door for he is ever ready?
Or go to his villa, peep by the gate and you are welcome
As his palace is an open hose;not just for some

Come on dude we're not stupid nor dumb
Even a standard one kid wink an eye to his mom
Upon hearing the news he asked, do they think we are Forrest Gump?
To believe the plot from those unholy scums?

For as long as UMNO Malays keep bowing to any idiot with clout
Always say yes to the boss but at the back cursing him loud
Like the loony Malacca son of Rustam or the progeny of Toyo
That keep only the UMNO Malays dumber with their political yo yo

Whosoever voice out, they brand as power crazy opposition
Fearing their status quo lost, no more chance to rip the nation
For fifty long years they kept promising and pledging
Supposedly fighting for the poor but only their bellies kept bulging

Oh the number 1 was ever so humbly, honest and Godly at the start
Being the imam for prayers and reading religious poetry to win people's heart
As if those were not enough to impress, he boasted Mr Clean ad invented Hadari
But people got depressed as he got more dirty increasing wealth for his family

He cheated election, bribed voters and made the Police and Judiciary tools
To conveniently contrive, manipulate, and made us fools
Forgetting all the promises, pledges and pleading when he needed support
Turning deaf ears, and perennially day-sleep even in court

Enough is enough of UMNO's bulls and fakeries
It's high time we kick their behinds and draw the boundaries
Wipe off theses political maggots and let Malaysia be clean
The future of our children and motherland is not for spin

By Ibn Sheikh Kabeer

Related Posts:

Chopping down the cherry tree - M'sian political version
Why did the chicken cross the road?