Top Ten: Reasons To School Them In English

Below are examples of how many of us speak English today. Taken from The Malaysian Today. Out of 100, I chose only 10. They are all true cases.

10. In a hotel a girl calls out to her friends: "Come lets jump into the poo(pool)"

9. A student writing an essay on how to bake a cake,
After all the ingredients are poured in the bowl, DISTURB (stir) the mixture....

8. At a job interview:
Q: You have a long name. So how do I address you?
A: I live in Gombak Setia sir.

7. Another essay by a student: "He suffer from low SELF OF STEAM (self-esteem)"

6. Overheard at a coffeeshop:
"No, I don't want iced lemon tea. I want teh-o-ais-limau."

5. An article by a journalism student in a local university:
"The man died after the post mortem."

4. During a war scene in a movie, a soldier tells his men to run for cover and screams "duck!". The subtitles read: "ITIK!"

3. A part time worker at a concert hall needs to stamp the wrists of patrons going out for a break. She says: "Excuse me sir, can I chop your hand"

2. "Wait later I call you on my CELLULITE phone (cellular phone)"

1. Interview between an airline company and a flight attendant wannabe.
Q: What do you know about flight safety procedures?
A: Passengers must leave their belongigs during EJACULATION (evacuation)

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